Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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why did the man cross the rode? He didn't he got hit by a bus

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

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how much fish could a chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops