Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

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Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Yo Momma is SO FAT, THAT she has an increased risk of cardiac arrest due to her blood pressure.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

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i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo Don't worry I'll be there too! Not in the cage But laughing at you! ??

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Knock-Knock Come in! ...

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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So, a boy walks into a baker's shop and asks for a loaf of bread. The man says "do you want white or brown?" The boy says "oh, I don't mind, I've got my bike outside."

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Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

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Knock Knock, Who's There? The The Who? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!

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Q: What does a baby look like in a microwave? A: I don't know, I don't masturbate with my eyes open.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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What do you get if you cross a motorway with a lawnmower? Killed.

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try slamming a revolving door

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Me: You know what's funnier than 24. Friend: 25? Me: No, 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops