Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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What does it mean when people say your mom? it means that there name is Hunter

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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Why can't a blonde swim? Because in this economy her parents never took her to a pool in which she could get swimming lessons and practice to be able to be a good or maybe great swimmer.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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You're always working, why don't you spend some time with your daughter? be a good father. But i already am. We're sleeping together while you work every night.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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why were the niggas in paris? rhetorical question. everyone knows they aren't french

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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