Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

what's round, hairy, has eight legs- but isn't a spider? A spider.

Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

hat did the fridge say to the oven your hot baby \

'How do you make a plumber cry? Buy him a belt for Christmas.

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

A kid goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor! it hurts when I do this!" The Doctor says, "Well, because you have been diagnosed with ALD, and to make matters worse you are allergic to rapeseed oil" The child then cries because he will never live past 40 years old

Did you hear about that man who ate 17 cheeseburgers?! I didn't.

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

A woman walks in a confessional booth and proceeds to tell the priest about how she killed and ate her baby in a fit of hysteria because she is having issues dealing with her fresh divorce. The priest does not call 911.

But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

Roses are red, My name is Dave, This poem makes no sense, Microwave.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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