Why can't Michael Jackson work at a boy scouts camp? Because he's dead.

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

An Asian man walked to P.F. Changs, and asked where the bathroom is.

What rhymes with milk...milf

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

Why did the man yell? Cause he wanted to!

How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

knock knock come in

a person who will soon die of beeties

Flowers are colors Love me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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