Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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So there was this kid who was sitting on a stool, and the stool started moving. He then realized that stools do not move, so he got up and ran away as quickly as he could.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

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Knock knock Come in

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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