roses are black, violets are black, im dead.

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

Smeg...

What do you call a full refrigerator? A freezer

Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

The Morman Religion.

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

i found the cure to cancer.......AIDS

What do you call an alligator wearing a vest? An extremely talented reptile.

What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

Knock-Knock Come in! ...

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

Why is Brodie Invited to Orlando? To make the beds

If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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