why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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roses are red poo is poo

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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What is lil Wayne's real name? Dwayne micheal carter jr.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse than two bee stings? Three bee stings. Whats worse than three bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Four bee stings.

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I have a friend named Dave, he lost his ID and now we call mim Dav

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What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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A man walks into a bar And compliments the bartender for his great service

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1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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