What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

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What did the alcoholic tell his son? Don't do meth.

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So these two guys walk into a bar... Well, I forgot the rest of the joke, but your mother a whore.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

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Q. What's The Best Thing About Having Sex With Twenty Three Year Old's? A. There are 20 of them...

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What's the cure of cancer? Death.

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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