How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What did the atheist say to the jew. Well first they had a long discussion about religion and the jew was actually made an atheist. Truly the work of God.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Why did the donkey cross the road? To get to your house. Knock Knock. Who's there? Heehaw!

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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what is your moms favorite website? Wait did I say mom. Oh I'm not very sorry.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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