John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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