Get on the boat.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

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What did the Germans cook in their giant oven made for cooking jews? Jews.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your titties super glued to a triceritops' as cheeks while the triceritops has chronic diahrea

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whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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What happens if you accidentally say your best-male friend's name instead of your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, they're both named Adam.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops