Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why can't Helen Keller drive a train? Because she's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

thumb_up thumb_down -29

You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

thumb_up thumb_down -29

WHY DID THE MAN FART HE WAS A FARTY PANTS AND WE CAN CHAT HERE ON THIS WEB GO TO ANTI JOKE SEE ME I WILL GIVE U JOKES

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How could you tell Adam and Eve wasn't black? ANSWER--YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TAKE A RIB FROM A BLACK MAN. ISSAIAH FROM OHIO YOLO:]

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what's brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is better than life? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops