What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor ? A: The holocaust

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Killing your friend as a joke.

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AAAnd that did not totally send a rush of sweet endorphin's up my spine, I think myself of as really really blunt, I value individualism rather than complete assimilation, I think that, if people want to hear my opinion, they ask me, and if they want to hear what they want to hear, they can ask... Pff, anybody else. I end up insulting a lot of people literally asking for it, but moments like these make it all worth it. I am also extremely superstitious, the catchphra states "Grain of salt" so I wont take your comment completely... I am just screwing around...

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what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

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whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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what did the cat say to the potato? meow

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

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If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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