A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Charlie Sheen

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why was the Jewish holocaust bad? Because it's joke always end up on anti-jokes and millions of Jewish people where murdered in it.

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A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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knock knock whos there? andy andy who? andy gold hi come in

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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roses are red, violets are blue. sunflowers are yellow, i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts.

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What do an airplane and a grape have in common? They both have wings, except the grape.

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well, neither has he.

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A man realizes the whole time he has wanted to fly like a bird. His funeral was two weeks later

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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