A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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knock knock? who's there? ivan ivan who? ivan. i want you to apologize for tooking their jobs the other day i said ivan who? i dont have a middle or last name

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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A guy walks into a bar. He must have been blind or something.

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I agree

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whats worse than finding ten dead babies in one recycling bin finding ten dead babies in one trashcan ---sticksack

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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If you give a man a fish, he'll eat it.

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What did rangler get on anti joke? Thumbs down.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out it was your uncle.

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so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 sodomized his whole family.;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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