What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than the holocaust? The Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why didn't the condemned man seek a reprieve of his execution? He forgot.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats awesome? a blade of grass with a mexican hat and a revolver.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats worse than finding a joke in a cracker? finding an anti joke in a cracker.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call a stop sign in the winter? A: A stop sign in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What brown and squishy? um um um um melted kit-kats

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock knock Who's there? Guess who. You have 4 options: A. Jeremy Stevens B. Donald Jefferson C. Richard Gillespie D. Paul Faggot Um A? Nope, the correct answer is D. Paul Faggot Oh hi Paul, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guy A: Why is 6 scared of 7? Guy B: Because 7, 8, 9? Guy A: No, numbers don't have feelings Guy C: That's so dumb Guy A: Hey you know what, this is an A and B conversation so... Guy C: So C your way out? Guy D: Yeah, before D and E come and F U up! Guy E: Are you guys high or something? Guy F: Dude, I'm a girl, F stand for female (Author): Oops sorry Girl F: Thanks Guy G: Mind Blown O_O

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1. Look at the size of his putter. 2. Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent. 3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker. 4. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 5. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. 6. Lift your head and spread your legs. 7. You have a nice stroke, but your follow through leaves a lot to be desired. 8. Just turn your back and drop it. 9. Hold up. I've got to wash my balls. 10. Damn, I missed the hole again.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops