What do you call a guy with a puppy, candy, and a windowless white van? You're next baby sitter.

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How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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my own dog bit my penis off, it was then put down. it was the worst day of my life.

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What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

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What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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What's nappy,brown,intoxicated,and stealing my bike? A Blazed, black guy that stole my bike.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

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What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don't

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Burp

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops