Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

"George? I wanna tend da wabbits, George" - Lennie Smalls

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

The Labour Party.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happens when a mexican makes love to an octopus? It makes a freaking weird looking animal

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why a polar bear fell over? He drank so much

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7? A. Because 7 was a scary dude.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did your mom cross the street? A: Because she was so ugly that she fell off both sides of the bed

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You want to hear a joke. Sure. A black president. Oh wait...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops