How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because the grocery store only sold pork

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He is seriously pissed off about being repeatedly subjected to this level of intense interrogation. Do you ask other animals why they chase their tails or claw at dirt? Do people ask you why you run when you're late? How would you like to have every move you made transformed into some cliche, old farce? There's a road, he's a chicken, there are only so many possible outcomes.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Knock knock, who's there? Doctor. Doctor who?

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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the economy.

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Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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Why was a black man in a police car? He is a police officer.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops