A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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Yeah your point? Anyway, so then the brain surgeon goes: I have have cut into thousands of brains, and never seen a single thought.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall from the swing? A: Because she didn't have arms. Q2: And why did she fall from the swing again? A2: Because she tried to get on it again.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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Your mamas so fat that she went to the doctor and he said she has a very high case of diabetes so now she's trying to excerise more and watching what she eats.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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Communism hehe xd

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Knock knock knock OCD

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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Wake up in the morning feeling like... Helen Keller

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops