How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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So, im new at this site and i was wondering how do you make an anti joke?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Why did the white policeman shoot all the black people in a house and not the white people Because the black guys were holding the white guys hostage

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. The stewardess calls secret service and has the man arrested.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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what did the iphone say to the galagy s3? nothing they are phones.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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