What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were three movies.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Chuck Norris never shows emotion!!!... because he is a pragmatic person and thinks in a more logical manner.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

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What is the difference between a black man and a piece of fried chicken? Fried chicken is a breaded meal that is high in calories whereas a black man is an unedible human being with feelings.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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What did the Colombian say to the Peruvian? Quieres lleyo?

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

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guess what? bannanas

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops