1:Your reading my text. 2:Your wondering what the point is. 3:Your getting angry. 5:Your going to click thumbs down. 6:But wait! You didn't realize that there was no number 4. 7:Your checking it. 9:Your smiling. 10:Your smiling so much you forgot to check for number 8. 11:Your checking it. 12:Jokes on you.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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What happens when a drunk driver meets a stoned driver? A head on collision

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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My cat just died.

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

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Paper or plastic? Yes...

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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