wanna hear a cat joke? just kitten

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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really? are people insistantly so totally stupid? Now read that again and you may notice something. :P

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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What goes up a hill with 4 legs and comes down with 3? A horse, which, upon reaching the top of the hill, has one of its legs chopped off, which is when the horse proceeds down the hill.

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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What do you say to a cat with a helmet on? Silly cat, you rhyme with hat but you shouldn't wear one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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