Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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school homewrok

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why did Sarah fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? not sarah

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Whats worse than being fat? Being Rebecca Black

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The next sentence is true. The previous statement is false.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops