Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What is Mary short for? She has no legs.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops