How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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what happens when an Asian and a Jew get married. They have children.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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i get knocked down, but i don't get up again. my leg is broken and therefore makes it extremely difficult for me to stand up on my own.

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I? Everett

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What is the difference?

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, In Soviet Russia, Poem writes you.

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What did one viking say to the other viking? I don't know, it was in Danish

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What did the Albino get for Christmas? Hair dye.

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBSSSSSSSS!

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

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Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

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How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

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How do you put in a lightbulb? Call your local electrition

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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