Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Whats white and sticky? Glue.

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A man walks into a bar. He walks out again remembering he forgot his wallet.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

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Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Guy 1: "Smells like UpDog in here." Guy 2: "No it doesnt.."

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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A jew walked out of a bar then goes to the other bar across the street then walks out from the back door to go to another bar The Actions of this jew tells us that there are only 3 bars in the zone and one pet shop

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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