If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

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Why couldn't Lucy get her driver's license? Because she has Cerebral Palsy!

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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What would Jesus say if he was alive today? “Nehwê tzevjânach aikâna d'bwaschmâja af b'arha.”

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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Why did Sally failed gym class Because she couldn't do push ups

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How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Why do most married men die before their wives? Men have on average a shorter life expectancy than women.

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Why did Piglet look in the toilet? He was probably fascinated by the flush.

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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