Why did the Democrat cross the road? Because the glorious leader ordered it for all minions

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Q: what happens when Justin Bieber walks into bar? A: three things, blood on the bar floor, another vister at the celebrity hospital, and Justin Bieber with knifes and darts stuck in his chest!

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What worse than a hurt puppy? Two hurt puppies.

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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why was the hobo sad his box was confiscated

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My children are mistakes

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Guy 1: So how did you get into hospital Guy 2: I was drinking near my computer Guy 1: So why did it explode? Guy 2: (Doesn't reply)

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Why did blonde cross the road? She needed to get to work.

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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