What did the chair say to the fan? Nothing. Chairs and fans are objects so they do not have the physical ability to talk.

Roses are reds, Viloets are blue, Thank God I'm a christian, And not a jew.

What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

Why did Jimmy fall over? Jimmy was hit by a bus.

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

So FDR walks into a bar.

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

What did the guy say to the other guy? Hello.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

did you see stevie wonder's new guitar no neither did he

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

What happens when you tickle a rabid iguana? It bites you and you die.

There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

What do Jay Williams, Lebron James, Candace Parker and Maya Moore have in common? They were all winners of the Morgan Wootten Player of the Year Award.

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not intelligent enough to realize the hazardous dangers of crossing the street.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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