A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

how do i know if my husband is cheating? beat him until he tells you

HELLO EVERYONE

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

your mumma so fat when she stepped on the scales it said her phone number

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

Why did the boy who didn't do his homework fall out off a tree? Because his overly obsessive mom threw a rock at him.

If Steve has 5 apples and gives Jenny 2, it is obvious they aren't eating oranges.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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