Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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look at your sister now look at me now look at your sister now look at me you probably have now realized that you cant see me.

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What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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knock knock... whos there? NOT BIN LADEN!

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black guy on a bike? Just because its not very nice.

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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