Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Knock knock Who's there Orange and Banana Orange and Banana who? ... The man opened the door and saw a bowl of oranges and bananas.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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What do you call a Mexican on the moon? Quite an unusual circumstance consedering Mexico doesn't currently have a space program. Not only that but Nasa hasen't even had people going to the moon since the 1970s.

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Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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why didn't the baby cry once it came out of the womb? because it was a stillborn.

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A 16 year old girl went into a bar. The police realized she did not have an ID, and arrested her.

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When you aren't feeling well, you should see a doctor like this: https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS5u4lryU5PzmLUKCGEKZgDWMeQ_96VLEKFGu7Wvk-4M7UXHkOXBw

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Terminator XXXIVXXX Regensisysydioniosis. Watch as the terminators return in this year`s summer blockbuster, they return to a time before the birth of Connors grandfather and manage to destroy the world, then the only decision left is for humanity in another timeline to travel back as the terminators are destroyed, but they travel back again so that! But that wont happen before Terminator: Los Pollos Hermanos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops