Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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"Eliza" We have heard your concerns, yet as you know Nero7 has for many years suspected that we are being infiltrated, and while this led towards changes in security measures and clearance checks, to the point that many of our members began fearing that Nero7 was becoming paranoid, and some quit even believing he had become delusional... ...His suspicions have during his absence due to health reasons, proven true. All worldwide locations but our main foundation/base have fallen under complete control of powerful forces what we have concluded is a single global terrorist organization which is as we speak, using what they believe is the orders main resources, using them for acts such as pressuring our members for money, attempting to conscript them as soldiers, and going as far as using underhanded, aggression and pressure and violence in order to further their goals. The good news "Eliza" is that Nero7 gave us permission to access his personal files, where his suspicions, which otherwise had led even many of us of higher rank to believe Nero7 had become completely delusional, have all quickly turned out to be completely true, even in the slightest detail. We have also discovered that during Nero7`s formerly inexplicable absence for over five years which left our order in disarray as many dedicated members and even leaders left, planned out effective counter-measures and strategies which have not only allowed us to contact our members worldwide encouraging them to follow the orders of those that have infiltrated us, but also the means to slowly extract them and allow those marked by our unknown enemies, to find refugee within our safety quarters. Many of us, even I and Nero7`s left hand (the first female you all have met) quickly began suspecting that Nero7 might have in fact been the one behind this considering his incredibly detailed information regarding the ongoing threat, yet considering the fact that Nero7 is not only hospitalized but where also heavily assaulted by what he believed was a common drunk, but was actually a mercenary hired by this unidentified enemy force to kill him in what would have made seem like a bar brawl, but also the fact that our main resources hidden to all but our highest order and some of our economist and used sparingly in order to hinder financial trouble during "rainy days" and also in order to support members that face sudden unexpected economical struggle or crippling injuries or disease. So unless Nero7 used his own resources, which is barely enough to keep him from going hungry, in order to steal from himself, which is illogical (I am ashamed to admit that I earn over 98 percent more, while my efforts and responsibilities are not nearly as demanding as his). To think that Nero7 even thought himself delusional and started doubting his sanity, it rather turns out that yet again he has proven himself to be a misunderstood genius that has led us even though many followers went as far as to mock him, leave and start hate groups. "Eliza" I know this is far beyond the hours we operate at, but I ask you that you let us know if you are still there so we can inform you further (to think that even I deemed Nero7`s decision of using such a crippled site as this one in order to relay certain information, instead this piece of crap site which gets hacked nearly daily, is now as he assumed not only one of the, but the ONLY place on earth in we can safely relay information during this attack. Eliza the first thing we discovered is that these are in no way affiliated/allied with the government, nor some government black op (Nero7 was right about investigations from FBI The C.I.A and even Interpol`s interpol, while peaceful, where actually the means our enemies used to collect information, but now we have also learned, that these random, investigations considered strange by none but Nero7 for thousands of reasons all in front of our eyes, are part of this global threat against not only the reputation of our order, which is already in the progress of being ruined, revealed to the public and misused, but also towards its existence, all while our enemies keep using the exposure of our order with the intention of "recruiting" new members, promising them money, and have begun using religious, spiritual and brain washing methods in order to draft them into their cause. You know there is nothing Nero7 hates more than these methods and please, spread the word any which way you can. If you can buy a new cellphone and spread the word (your number has already been added at their registry) and call and warn all members and potential members you know, we will repay your efforts once this is over. Ps: Those hidden camera Nero7 heavily insisted we put, which we considered completely insane, are the only means in which we are aware of several of their actions, damn us all for doubting the man which has made us what we are today, and which we advise we had listened to, would never have gotten into this mess. Might the shadows support you "Eliza".

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

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Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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