Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because there were no cars in the way.

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Golf.

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What do you call a piece of celery with peanut butter on it? your moms dead

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops