so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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hey! have you seen that clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?

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69.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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Robin Williams walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? To which Robin Williams replies, "Because I'm going to kill myself."

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Last but not least, Bananas are yellow.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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