Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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a black guy walks into a store and is caught stealing things the police are called they get there and hes calmly escorted to the police car

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Two homosexuals are making love in the kitchen. One leaves for a bit and says, "Dont finish without me." Upon returning, white goo is spattered across the floor. Concerned that the clumsily dropped icing may stain, they promptly clean it.

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I like my sex how i like my steak Pink and Bloody

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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