Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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A dancer walks into a barre

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star wars kid

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Roses are red Violets are red Bushes are red Why's my garden on fire?

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knock knock who's there? the man the man who? the man who murdered your whole family

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops