Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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Who in Tyrone's black family gave him presents on christmas? Not his dad.

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What did I say to the joke? What? Correct.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why was the boy sad? A crazed drifter killed his family and made him watch.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Mary had a little lamb And a side of fries.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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One, two, three, four and five

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did Marshawn Lynch say? Yeah

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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