Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

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What did the dinosaur say to the caveman? Nothing. Dinosaurs were wiped off the earth due to a tragic, world wide extinction about 65 million years ago while small mammals which would eventually evolve into humans survived.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Milwaukee? They woke him up.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What happens when a Jew, a black man, and a Latino walk into the bar? The potential for racial humor.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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What's the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? A ghost isn't a dolphin.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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