Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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What did the homosexual farmer say when he answered the phone? Hello

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth? A: Bricks.

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did you hear the joke about the vagina ....... you'll never get it

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Q: Did you hear about the fire at the circus? A: It was in tents!

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Why did the Mexican fall off of a cliff? He lost is ballence.

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Heyy everyone text this number 320-510-3277 Kay ask him why he poops the bed at age 17 .. His name is mike geier.. Haha

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Knock Knock Who's there Your serial killer

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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KONY 2012! *world rises up cheering in spontaneous patriotism for Africa* Leader of KONY 2012 arrested for public masturbation

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If i was given a penny every time i hear "It's not my fault". I will have the money equal to the nominal price multiplied by the count of times i heard that phrase.

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Why can't dogs fly? Because they do not have wings.

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy had no hair because he had cancer and died 3 weeks later.

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When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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