What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? I DON'T have a Corvette in my garage.

Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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