Why did the chicken cross the road? His family was being held hostage on the other side.

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

What do you call a man with a horse? A man

What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

Benny: Hi, my name is Benny, what's your name? A potato: ...

A person was born on may 5th 1955 and one day noticed that they had $555.55 in their bank account. The person went to a race and betted all their money on the 5th runner in the 5th race. What happened? The runner came in 5th place.

(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

What happens when u mix water and soda? You get watery soda

Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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