Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

The one under this is a fake. i wrote the real one

Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

Knock Knock Who's there? Sorry, wrong house.

What's disabled and red all over. The kid I hit with my car.

Id like to apologize for the one below (near the end yeah at the very end yeah that near you fuck!) When I said I give candy to etc etc I did mean I do not give candy to... Well... Nothing male, and I do not apologize, thank you. Shortie: Me as a Sociopath vs Sociopath with faster gunplay: So A Sociopath moved into my neighborhood, he arrived at my place and said hey you? You the sociopa... "BOOM" Moral: Shoot first, listen later... And if you hear something keep shooting... Anyway that was not the Sociopath but I got him eventually.

Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says" why the long face". The horse, unable to comprehend English just shits on the floor and leaves

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

There is a hawk and a squirrel sitting in a tree. a farmer walks by with a strange package so the hawk turns to the squirrel and says nothing because he is an animal and incapable of speech, he then eats the squirrel because he is a bird of prey.

What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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