Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Q: How many different Pokèmon are there? A: Pokèmon aren't real.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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