what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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why was kade sad? he shit himself

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Your mother is so obese that she has over the recommended daily calorie intake on a regular basis.

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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How many kleptomaniacs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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A women left the kitchen.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Why did the girl run over the road? Her buttons rolled to the other side! (From a book called... Al-capone does my shirts) (Natilie)

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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