Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Hold on, please hold on! I will explain, it is my name, but I don't know whats so wrong with it at all... Please give me five minutes, I need to use the bathroom, please don't go just yet, don't be mad at me, what have I done wrong now? I mean if you are gonna go to sleep or something please do not be upset with me.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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star wars kid

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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A dancer walks into a barre

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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A turtle walks into a bar. The bar tender says "what will it be?" the turtle doesnt reply because its a turtle and the bar tender is sent to a mental hospital for talking to turtles.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? Trees can't jump

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops