What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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a boy poops in class everybody laughs and now he has no friends

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I wish there were a city named Sample. So that the sign can say "Urine Sample"

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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What's worse than a wet sock? Being molested as a child.

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Think of a number, add it by 7, subtract it by 2, and multiply it by 4. Now close your eyes, isn't it dark?

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Why did the family sue disney? Because at a meet and greet location mickey mouse shot their youngest in the heart.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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why did suzie fall off the swing? she had no arms why did suzie get hit by a bus? she was blind knock knock whos there? not suzie.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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