What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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Yo mama so fat that you should maintain strong eye contact with her and not look at her body.

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Hello

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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But I don't use all those things myself Nero, I do however teach people how to use it.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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A black man walked out a window of a 20 story building a detective arives at the scene it was night time and he said wheres the body.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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roses are red violets are blue you smell like poo I F*****G HATE YOU!

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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Teacher: Why did you fail this test? Student: Because the hamster that gives energy to my brain just died.

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because humans do not have the capability of accessing the chickens brain to receive their knowledge and what they were thinking about in the past.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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