What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Your momma's so fat that she went on a diet.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Andoni was here

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pobody's nerfect

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because KFC was hiring

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops