Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a socially responsible chicken and his family was on the other side and every day walks his ass across the street to go to work to provide for his family, unlike your dead-beat ass.

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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why does andy speak when not spoken too because he wants a smack

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What's sad about four children going over a cliff in a car ? Four children just went over a cliff in a car.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

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For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops