Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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What happened to George's pet rock? It ran away.

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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A man walks into a bar. He hits his head and dies.

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rodents are bed violents are glue i have lysdexia and short attention spa

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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What did the indian boy say to his friend? He didn't he was too busy studying

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How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

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what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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