Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what can't see and has four eyes? a blind kid born with four eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have chlamydia, and now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a man walks into a bar... ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

i wonder who made this website? a human

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the weirdest way to get AIDS Having Sex

thumb_up thumb_down +2

the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops