Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

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You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

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There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Um...thats impossible because chickens live on farms theyre are no roads....

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Terry was always struggling with mathematics. On his last report card he received a D- in math. His parents were naturally very upset with him because they knew their son could do much better and so did Terry. Terry wanted to make his parents proud so he buckled down and started studying on a regular basis. Terry realized his had work had payed off when his 3rd grade teacher handed him his report card. Terry had revived an A in math! On his walk home from school all he could think about was how proud his mom and dad were going to be. On that walk home Terry was savagely torn apart by an escaped lion from the local zoo. His head was never found.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house... knock knock who's there the chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know I'm not a bird physcologist

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What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

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Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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How do you make an Indian explode? Push the red button

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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woman's rights

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops