What did the cancer patient say before they died? I am in so much pain. I love you all

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8, 9, 10

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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I'm hungry.

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Hey dude when is 4th of July? I don't know.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

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What do you call a chicken with no head? A chicken with no head.

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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Did you hear about the guy who fed his dog his baby? No Oh

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Roses are black. Violets black. Guns are black. My van is black.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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Why did the man fail to enter the CAPTCHA phrase correctly? Because he was actually a bot, and bots are typically prohibited from accessing information on most public web sites.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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