what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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What kind of Juice do White supremacists Hate the most? Minute Maid.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

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My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

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A man is on a military operation, he dies and has a funeral.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Why is it OK to make fun of a deaf person? Because they can't hear.

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whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

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Why do people laugh at anti-jokes? Because of a chemical reaction to a neurological phenomenon that results from the brain's response to external stimuli.

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There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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What do you get if you cross a river with a cat? Wet.

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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