A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

Q: Whats worse then a minor fender bender? A: Dieing a long painful death by getting stabbed 27 times then getting hit by a car 2 hours later your brother finds you and told you that him and your wife have been cheating on you and your kid is his.

Roses are red and so is venus now kneel down and suck my penis:)

How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

some dude: weed is bad Other dude: then why do they prescribe it to people are you dumb or are you stupid

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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