What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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ugvvvvvv

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

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Chris is hairy

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Whats red and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket Whats blue and looks like a bucket? -a red bucket disguised as a blue bucket

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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A man walked in to a store and asked for four candles. The storeman brought some fork handles and placed them on the counter. The customer said "No... 'Four Candles' a rather amusing sketch performed by The Two Ronnies, a comedy double act in the 1970s."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops