What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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what did the oven say to the firdge you hot baby

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What do you call a kid with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Ask me if I'm a tree "are you a tree?" No

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

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How do you fit a giraffe into a refrigerator? You cut it into pieces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops