Q. What's long and hard and full of seamen? A. A penis. Oops, I misspelled "semen". Sorry. Also, to clarify, this doesn't describe the normal state of the average penis. Usually they are flaccid, and they can only be said to be "full of semen" at the exact moment of ejaculation.

What do you call a lepucaun leaping in a feild of flowers, on christmas? Ground beef.

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

A man walks into a bar. He gets drunk, goes home, and beats his wife and kids.

Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What do you call a black man flying a plane. A pilot.

What's a fry cook's favorite day? Saturday. It's his day off.

A child wasn't wearing knee pads when he was skateboarding. He proceeded to fall of his board and break his arm

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

a cow walked into a bar and asked for a large whiskey on the rocks, 'long day, eh' said the barman, 'yes' replied the cow, 'first a large moving obstical was cutting down my food, and then my friend was raped from his milk.'

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

A lot eh?

Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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