Why do teens say "dude?" They feel unloved at home and must know that they posses a strong relationship with their peers, and in fact, cannot maintain a proper friendship due to the four letter word known as "dude."

So this guy walks into a bar, & says "I'll have a beer"........ Yup

what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

roses are read violets are blue my fanny is orange I have the flu my name is gemma

Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

A little boy who was sleeping in his parents' bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't -- he said nothing, and the incident troubled him for many years.

the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

What do you call someone who sits on anti joke every day? Luke Skywalker

Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

What do you call a bunch of black people at the bottom of the ocean? Cocoa puffs

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. He quickly pulled out a .44 Magnum and murdered her violently. The marriage had been a nightmare ever since they lost their unborn child, and the situation pushed Bob to a place, where he could no longer look at his wife.

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

Q: Why is daddy wrestling mommy? A: Well Jimmy, that is called sexual intercourse. That is how you were created, and many people of all ages engage in this activity every second.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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