Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why couldn't Jimmy have his birthday party at the park? Because little Jimmy passed away several months ago from the result of a vicious genocide committed by a man who didn't properly understand the affect that maiming human beings has on the friends and family members of the person; he was sentenced to jail for a fair and reasonable time for the punishment of the crime he committed in the past.

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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What do you call a fart in a box? Your mom's pussy.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Roses are read, Violets are blue, I have aids, now so do you

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What did the kI'd with cancer get for Christmas? A coffin.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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A girl and her friend got into a fight. They both bled to death.

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It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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