Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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How do you know when a Captcha defect causes you to post the same anti-joke three times? Canteloupe.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he has a frog stapled to his forehead

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Whats better then a guard llama two Guard llamas

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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Why didn't he finish his

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Sidney Crosby walks into a bar. Except its a metal bar like a pole so he gets another concussion.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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