Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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How did the cat get outside? It fell out the window

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? So YOU'RE the one!

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What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

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Why did little Sammy die of boredom? The WNBA was on

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give a man a blow job and he'll come for a second. teach a man to blow job and .... no that just doesn't work

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? There was no cross walk.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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What did the poor boy get for Christmas? Orphaned.

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#If you go down in the woods today, your sure of a big surprise #If you go down in the woods today, you better go in disguise. # I don't know why, I started typing this out and realized I couldn't actually come up with a suitable concluding line.

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Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops