How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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What's silent but deadly? A baby falling from a 10 story building

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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Why did the white man beat the black man in a fight? The white man was bigger. Also, he was a black belt in Brazillian Jiu Jitsu.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested butter

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs at night? An experimental animal mutilated then exposed to radiation.

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What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

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Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

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Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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