Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Skies are blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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