Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Astyanax mexicanus, a subspecies of Mexican tetra that lives in a subterranean habitat and as such has structurally degenerate eyes that have atrophied over the course of evolution.

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? HE didn't. He watched where he was going.

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You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What do you call a secret agent that lives in a bottle of washing up liquid? Bubble-0-7

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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Why did the man have a heart attack? Because he suffered from high cholesterol and cardiovascular disease.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

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Whats the difference between right and left? I stabbed your mom with my left hand.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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what's black and white and red all over? a zebra in a blender

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

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Imagine that we take all of the elephants in the world and laid them out end to end in space Did you know all of the elephants would die Nature fact

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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