a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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Democracy.

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Knock knock. I know who is there... What? No, I lied...

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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- Knock knock - Who's there - James - James who ? - James Redwood.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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yo mother is so fat, the recursive function computing her mass causes a stack overflow.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because they're not free.

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How do you find a jew amoung italians? Through a dollar and see which one whines its not enough!

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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There was a golfer at the field where people usually golf. he had a golf club. so did the man next to him. The man i spoke of first hit the guy that was next to him with a golf club. Why? because he was angry at the man for shoving socks down his daughters throat and extracted her eyes with a melon scooper. This should not be humorous, the girl got blood and eye juice on her fathers new shoes when she came home.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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