You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Q. Whats brown and sticky? A. Poo

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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What has no eyes no arms no legs and the lack of a brain? You for liking this joke

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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I'm a raging homosexual.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Children and bretheren, stinky cheese Stinkyy cheeeese. Like this or you will smell stinky cheese in your bedroom

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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69

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops