Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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To men walk into a bar. One says to a paying customer, "Mind if I sit here?" and the other man inquires the bartender about so.e fancy drink that takes five minutes to prepare. After 23 minutes, naturally, they left at exactly the same time and they went home to their wife and kids. They both share a wife and kids.

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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whats does a dog cat spider and rat have in common?the dog cat and rat are all mammals.Exept for the rat idiot!!you should have figured THAT out before!!!

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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knock knock whos there santa santa who .....long pause he doesnt exist now go shoot urself

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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how do you win a game try your best

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Why did the girl trip in the middle of the street? She tripped over the kid who dropped his ice cream because he got hit by a bus.

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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