A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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A woman stopped making sandwiches.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? The Mexican blind cave tetra (Astyanax mexicanus).

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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