Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

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An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

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Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar, the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you", the grasshopper replies, "you have a drink named Bob"

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looking for food for it was starving to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops