How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Whats metal and shiny? A: You're lame childhood accomplishments.

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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someone called someone else a frog

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops