there's a worm in my lime at least it doesn't have scurvy

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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What is the defference between Obama and an American? Obama doesn't have a birth certificate.

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What's the difference between a black person and cancer? If you don't know already, you should really question your countries education system and your parents upbringing.

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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A black man, a small child, and a priest were all standing in line. They were all checking in the hospital after being in a 3 car pileup

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2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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A banker makes some poor economic investments with other people's money. turns out the people can never get the money back. the banker walks away like nothing happened. the government does nothing to prosecute the man. Somewhere in there his wife leaves him.

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Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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Why do Asians get 50% off on movies? They don't.

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Your mum is such a slut, I'd reccomend she seeks psychiatric help, as her deviant promiscuity is clearly a phsical manifestation of some deep rooted psychological disfunction. We all wish her well.

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What can bankrupt people buy? Free stuff.

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What noise does a Chinese roller coaster make? Chink Chink Chink Chink chink.....

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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