Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

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How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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Q: What did the dragon say to the other dragon A: Nothing they did'nt exicest.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

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What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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Why did the young boy hit the other young boy? Because the other young boy was bullying his friend and he thought it was time he should stand up for himself and take control of the situation.

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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So, there's a man and a bar. He gets a hacksaw.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops