what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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A sober Irish individual.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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yo mama's so dumb, she had to retake the 11th grade.

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mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

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96 right now there mad at each other but pretty soon it will look like this 69

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What did Raymond say when josh ate him? Nothing because Raymond was dead.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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who can be more evil than the person who hit my nuts. Adolf Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops