"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Why can't Michel Jackson play chess? He's dead

What do you call a cat at the bottom of the ocean? A cat.

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

Knock knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave was beginning to get very scared of his best friend at this time, so he ran away panicking.

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

like most people my age. im 27

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

Who is that? That is my daughter, She likes climbing trees.

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

There are only three kind of people: people who can count and people that can't count

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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