What's the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies? There isn't a BMW in my garage.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How do you help a black person find a job ? Tell them places that are hiring.

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I went to the local RSPCA office today....it's tiny, you couldnt swing a cat in it.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Q: What do you call a innocent black man that was shot 403 times by the cops when they asked for his ID and somehow assumed he was gonna reach for a gun? A: Deceased Texan.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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Jesus Christ

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What is the difference between a black baby and a tractor? A tractor is heavy and a baby is not

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

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What's worse than a dead baby joke? A dead baby.

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Please ignore this statement.

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What do you call a dog with 5 legs? A dog with 5 legs.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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