Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the teacher's cat die? It had cat herpes and feline immunodeficiency virus

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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what do you call a dog with no legs. It dosent matter it wont come

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What's the difference bettween the holocaust and a bee, 6 million jews died during the holocaust. Bees make honey.

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What has four legs in the morning, three at noon, and two in the evening? A baby with leprosy.

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Why was the man sad? His brother died.

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why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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what did the window say to the other window nothing they are both inanimate objects

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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