Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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What's worse than anti-jokes? The holocaust.

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whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

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what do u call a newspaper boy on brake? your uncle because hes broke and struggling with income.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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My friend is a famous actor. Fooled you! I have no friends.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm Animals

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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