how do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The fridge is on its side, the door is torn off, and the ruined food scattered all over the floor. Not to mention there is an elephant in your kitchen.

what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Did you see Helen Keller at the movie theater? I didn't either, she's dead.

Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A mechanical wheelchair.

What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

a priest, a rabbi, and a nun walk into a bar...and the bartender goes...what is this a joke? mr. healey

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

A group of cows boarded a spaceship and was launched into orbit around the Earth. It was the herd shot around the world.

-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

Knock Knock! Who's There? Interrupting Doctor Interru--- You Have Cancer...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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