Chuck norris doesn't make his own butter he roundhouse kicks the cow and the butter comes straight out.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

Q: Do you know what's the no.1 cause of pedophellia? A: Sexy kids

A black man and a hispanic man are in a car. Who is driving? The guy who didn't call shotgun.

A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

A duck walks into a bar, clearly ignoring the 'No Ducks Allowed' sign that had been placed in the window to prevent comedic scenarios.

Did you hear about Osama Bin Laden? He's dead.

Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

2 blondes were heading to Disney world, they saw up ahead that said "Disney World left" then took a left and enjoyed Disney World and had fun on the rides

What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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