Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

What's the difference between unicorns and black people? Years of slavery.

What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

Knock knock. whos their! Grammar police. We'd like to have a little chat.

Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

What did Sammy get for Christmas? Raped.

A construction worker walks into a bar. He says "Ow! That hurt!" And walked in the opposite direction to the manager to complaint about the obvious health code violations of this site.

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

Why can't Osama bin Laden make anymore terrorist attacks? He's dead.

what do you call a man without an umbrella? wet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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