In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

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What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

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Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

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Dwarf Shortage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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