A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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whats red and hard to eat a brick.

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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what do you get a man with no arms or legs for his birthday? a quick, painless death.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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Why did the computer crash? Because it had too much alcohol.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because the amount of times people reused this joke on this site made her so annoyed much she wanted to hurt herself.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road ? A. Because he had grown tired of living thus choosing to end his life.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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Did you here about the guy who kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter? Well, he died

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Why is the mexican navy so bad? They have insufficient funds to give to their military as they are a 2nd world country.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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