Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

who is gay wit mon james cornish

why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have sufficient stability in his arm at that moment causing him to loosen his grip and drop his ice cream.

roses are black violets are black i am blind

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

A pirate walks in to a bar. The bartender notices he has a steering wheel in the front of his pants, so he says to the pirate, "you know you've got a steering wheel in your pants, huh?" The pirate responds, "Arrrrrrrrr, it's for me carrrrr."

"Knock knock," said the guy about to deliver a knock knock joke.

hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

Why didn't the jew eat pork? He was vegetarian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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