In a stranded island, a plane crashes. Only one man survives. He asks himself "Where do I bury everybody else?" The others proceed to look at him strangely. He was the only surviving male.

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like if your cool

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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What is purple, stupid, gay, and tells shitty jokes? I don't know. You think of something.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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the bible

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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