How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese man get on a cruise ship? He didn't have a ticket.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Roses are red, violets are blue, your Mom is a fake, she adopted you!

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

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What are you getting for Christmas? Wasted.

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"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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