What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke-'er-face

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Why does Justin Beiber look like a girl? Because he achieved international fame and fortune at a prepubescent age, and has made more money before he turned 18 than most people will in their entire lives.

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What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A guy walks into a bar carrying an octopus under his arm. The bartender asks him, "say, buddy, what's with the octopus?" and the man replies, "this is the most intelligent octopus in the world. In fact, I bet you $100 that it can play any instrument you give it." The bartender snickers at the other patrons, and puts $100 on the bar. He motions the man over to the piano by the wall. The man puts the octopus on the piano, but nothing happens. The octopus is dead, because it's been out of the water for a while. The bartender looks at the man sadly, as two psychiatric orderlies from the local mental hospital take the visitor away to the looney bin, after another patron called the police. The bartender never gets his $100, and now he has to clean up the godawful mess on his piano.?

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he was hungry. The teacher would stupid to say it was a piece of cake

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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What did the chicken say to the cow? Cluck cluck Knock knock Who's there Chicken Chicken who? Chicken go cluck cluck, cow go moo Piggie go oink oink, how 'bout you?

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops