roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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What kind of martial arts does the Jewish man practice? Kung-Fu

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In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

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Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

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A blonde takes a math test it says find x? She circles x and puts there it is!

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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To men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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My teacher told me to so a report on women rights.....I turned in a blank sheet! ^.^

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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AIDS

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An American, a Mexican and a Cuban are in a car. For they are heading to the store to buy groceries and then come home to make dinner.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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