Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

What do you call a black man who flys an airplane? A Pilot

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

What's the difference between a chicken? One leg is both the same

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

What word starts with N and ends with R that you never want to call a black person? Neighbor.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

What's worse then failing a math test? Your mom getting shot

Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

So there were these three guys on a plane, one with a ruptured hernia, one with a stomach infection and one with a raging case of gingivitis. Half way through the flight the pilot said, "unfortunately we will not it make to our destination... we are crashing." The three men then went to get the parachutes. they then say that there was only two. the man with the ruptured hernia picked one up and threw it out the door and pushed out the guy with the stomach infection. The guy with the raging case of gingivitis said, "why did you do that... we could have used that parachute!" the man with the ruptured hernia responded, "taco." and jumped out of the plane. the pilot then goes on the intercom and says," sorry. false alarm. we will not be crashing, please enjoy the rest of your flight."

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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