how much fish could a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q: Why could John say goodbye to his girlfriend ? A: He didnt have one

thumb_up thumb_down -10

No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happened when the princess kissed a frog. Warts, all over her lips

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Pete and Repeat are sitting on a bridge, Pete fell off and Repeat still hasn't been able to forgive himself for pressuring Pete to join him on such a perilous perch.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the student fail his test? Because he has AIDS darragh hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man, John, is talking amongst a group of friends. He tells a racist joke and sees that one of his colored friends, Mark, is laughing at his joke, but John can tell that Mark's offended. John later apologizes to his friend because that is the right thing to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Knock, knock. You do realize you can actually physically knock on the door instead of just imitating the sound effect with your mouth, right? It's actually way more effective that way. Just saying, since it's raining outside and you're cold and want to come in...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops