Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had a heart attack. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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Yo Mama so ugly I don't know how she found your dad.

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roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

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A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Q: How do you measure a ruler A: You don't.

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You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What do you get when you reverse Zelda's Lullaby ? Skyward Sword's theme.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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