What do you call a dog with no legs? A seal.

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What did the blind boy get for one of his Christmas present? A cinema ticket.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Why did Billy fall off his bike? He tried to kill himself.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know most poems rhyme, This one doesn't

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How do you drown a blond girl? Forcibly hold her head under water until it enters the lungs and prevents the absorption of oxygen leading to cerebral hypoxia and myocardial infarction.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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black chicken. kfc

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why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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How do you get rid of an STD? You give it to someone else.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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one time at band camp there was a guy guess what he played? no one knows

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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