A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Q: What's worse then 10 babies nailed to a tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AS FAT AS JESSE WHEN... 1. The scales don't go up to the weight you weigh. 2. You know the true meaning of the word Plus-Size. 3. You can't see your feet without sitting down.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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A light bulb is very similar in shape to a pear. So, when you change a light bulb, don't replace it by a pear.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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A cat walks into a Chinese restaurant. It is then asked to leave.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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Whats big, red and will cause severe injuries possibly fatalities if it falls out a tree? A phone box

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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what do u tell a woman who has two black eyes? nothing, somebody already told her twice.

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Q:Why did the Grape divorce the Prune? A:Because he was tired of Rasin kids! :D

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AIDS

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Why did the black man cross the road? To show the chicken that it isn't that hard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops