Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

Text this number just cuz 16305208722

What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

WHART++EWEEEEEEEP FLARPEN CARPEN FLARP

How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

Why'd the asian man cross the road? I dont know, who cares? Just leave the guy alone

i dont fisish anythi

i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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