What is my name? I dont know

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? The black guy said, "hello". They then proceeded to have a normal conversation.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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A man got struck by a car and was rushed to hospital on life support, he died shortly after. His wife was informed of his death by the doctors and shortly after she killed her children and finally hung herself.

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Why did the hippo drink the water? Because it was thirsty

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Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Q: Why did Captain Kirk suck his own dick? A: Nobody else was around, I guess.

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Roses are red Violets are blue one plus one Equals two

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the moment right after you finish the last harry potter and remember the world wasn't saved and you still have cancer

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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the bible

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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why did bob marley die because he did also he smoked weed he was naughty!

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How do you knock a cat out of a tree? If that doesn't work, use a lethal BB gun

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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