Q: Why did the Asian fail his driving test? A: Lack of concentration on the road and low knowledge of functioning a car.

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What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

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I once was told that life is like a box of chocolates, but then realized that it wasn't

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Why couldn't the pirate go to the movies? He had scheduling conflicts

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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What dd the man say to his wife? Make me a samich!

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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PATIENT: Doctor, doctor, I can't see my legs DOCTOR: That's because you're blind

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Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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Screw it you write the joke.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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