What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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FOX News: Fair and balanced

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Why was 2 afraid of three Because it bigger

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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What building has the most stories? The Burj Khalifa.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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