What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A muslim walks into a gun shop

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What? Huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the old man go to the retirement home? The 75 year old man had a 45 year career in pluming and he thought it was a good time to retire after saving enough money to be happy and he could spend the rest of his life with his wife. The retirement home was also not that far away from his grandchildren so he liked the location and the home was also very clean and the workers seemed very nice. But this was just a visit to see if he liked it, he may live there soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A brunette, a redhead, and a blond are all stuck on an island 100 miles away from the nearest civilization with no resources. After 2 weeks, they decide that no one is going to save them and they have to swim for it. The brunette swims 25 miles and then gets eaten by sharks. The redhead swims 75 miles and then drowns. The blond swims 99 miles but got tired, so she swam back.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red violets are blue i smell meth abkfjbekfhbkfsdshjfbkhb

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops