Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Her hair was fine, her scent was great, now show me your fucking ****.......please

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why did my BFF hate me?i called her an idiot on all the holidays including her birthday

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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How do Chinese people name their kids? They could look up a baby-names book, consult their family history, or make one up

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim cleric walk into a bar. In Syria. Dead children.

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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An anti-Semite, a Jew and an American walked into the bar. The barman said: "Hi, Sara".

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Why did the chicken cross the road So he could get back to the farm and lay more eggs

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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If quizzes are quizical, what are tests? Testicals

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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What's worse than finding a worm inside your apple? Finding an apple inside your worm.

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How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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