Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Q:why did the boy not have to walk his dog? A: because the dog and the rest of his family died in a terrible house fire while he was away at summer camp.

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how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's worse then AIDS? Chad Wolbert

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

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How can you tell the difference between a black guy and a white guy? skin color

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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What do you get from M&M bags? M&Ms.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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