A man is at the doctor's office and the doctor says to the man: "I'm sorry sir, you have AIDS and Alzheimer's disease." The man says: "Well, at least I don't have AIDS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Patient: "Doctor, my arm hurts when I poke it with my index finger." Doctor: "That's because your finger is broken."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down a hill whats black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Beans, beans the magical fruit. The more you smoke, the blacker your lungs get.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is brown, white, and red all over? A part asian part white guy covered in blood after having her girlfriend have her period while they were having sex in a club in alaska near a military school that was abandoned and is now haunted but justin bieber took care of that.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you heard that Bert & Ernie from Sesame Street are gay? If so, than whoever told you may be mentally challenged, Bert & Ernie are both puppets which even though they resemble people with active personalities, they remain puppets and do not have a sexual oreintation.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the drunk man arrested? he beat his wife and was sentenced too 3 months in federal prison

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops