Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

What has two legs? Half a cat

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

You know what makes me smile? Face muscles.

knock knock go away

hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

joe galasso from plainview ny

Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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