What's red and can sing? Elmo

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

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How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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drugs.

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Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a car and died

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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