What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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I FEEL LIKE I'M RIDING ON A CLOUD actually it's physically impossible to ride on clouds because they are sparsely situated ice particles.

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Why did the fish fly It didn't

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What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A present.

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knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

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Whats worst then getting a paper cut. Being stabbed by a screw driver.

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Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

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What are annoying? Ads.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

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your skull would make a nice pen holder

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the WNBA.

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops