What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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Sometimes you have to stop and smell the roses. Unless they are next to the trashcan where you put your little sisters diapers

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What goes from pink to red in 5 seconds? A pink shirt when red paint is spilled on it.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. -It's funny because the robot doesn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were 5 brothers chasing it with a bat.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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Q: What race was Jesus Christ? A: None, he's not real

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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what did the robber say to lady gaga to get her in the car?get in the car or i shoot you i just want your money!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops