whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

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What did the bolt say to the wall?? nothing ,they just screwed.

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. But it was winter and they froze to death

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Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

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Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains! That's a rather strange psychological problem I think you should consult a professional psychologist rather than see me.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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my egg roll

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Yo mama so old when I slapped her on the back her tits fell off.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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What's worse than being dead? Nothing.

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Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

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When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

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Why did the bald man go to hospital? Because we was getting chemotherapy

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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