A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a dead black man? A corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Good Morning, I'm Dr. Pepper" "Like the drink?" "Huh... yes... just like the drink" Would you mind to sit right here Mr..... "Nike" "Oh, just like the shoes" "How do you dare!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? thier skin tone.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already taken her police statement and she doesn't want to discuss the incidentit anymore until her lawyer arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Customer Service "May I help you?" "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the black man get laid off? His company was no longer doing well and he was not needed.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why couldn't the girl watch t.v? Because her house burned down

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how many people were on the bus........ 0 cause the bus was parked for 45 years

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops