*puts thumbs up on own anti-joke. Nobody needs to know....

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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WHO THE FUCK IS NERO AND THAT BITCH THAT CLAIMS TO BE NOT NERO BUT NOT NEROMETAL OR WHATEVER? THEY BOTH CLAIM TO BE THE FUCKING MORAL MAN? I STARTED MY RISE TO INFAMY FOR LIKE... Fuck, when I was still studying, it was a fucking social project to prove that others opinions DO NOT MATTER SHIT IN THE END! And now these bastards (some cult faggot and Some "Nerometal" which are probably the same queer) CLAIM TO BE THE MORALMAN? I AM THE MORAL MAN! I AM YOUR FRIENDLY RAPIST/SOCIOPATH! YOU FAKE QUEERMASTERS! I CHALLENGE YOU!

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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roses are red violets are blue wanna hear a joke? WNBA....

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What used to be red, but isn't anymore? A scalped ginger.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Filing cabinet.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Nobody, this is a metaphorical door..

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Q:Where did sally go when the bomb went off? A: Everywhere.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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