Why was the nympho sweating in the park? Because they were having sex on the bench.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? A cereal killer.

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Wanna hear a really dirty joke the boy fell in the mud

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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