My dog barks when someones at the door.

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What are kids supposed to do in American classrooms if a nuke hits nearby? Hide under the desk. (This is a fact) Moral: Like that is gonna help... seriously that is ridiculous!

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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What is green and slow Grass.

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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What did you call something that is long, hard and full of seamen? A ship.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What's round and bounces A basketball No!!!!!!! You dummy!!! Then what? Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the black man get shot Cause someone shot him

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Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops