I don't usually drink beer, but when I do it usually doesn't take much for me to feel the effects of intoxication.

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Why isn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She's dead.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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What did the shy guy say at the speech? Nothing

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Why did the Jewish man bend down to pick up a penny? Because he had dropped it and required the penny as part of his payment for his food.

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A guy went to a girl asked if she wanted to have sex with him. She said yes and they promptly had sex.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was persecuted for his faith.

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Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

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What do you call a spoiled black daughter? Tiana (Disney Princess)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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what's worse than stubbing your toe? a hospital fire.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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kieran is a homosexual

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops