why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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good looking women

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What's Tyrion Lannister short for? It's not short for anything, it's his full name.

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A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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How can you tell a baby lost it's voice? It doesn't scream when you staple it to a ceiling fan and turn it on.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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Bob goes to the store and buys some food.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Who is married to Uncle Joke? Antijoke.

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a disabled man takes a walk in a park

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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bob said "Hi Joe why the long face" Joe replies "I'm a horse dip sh*t"

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Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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roses are gay s is justin beber s are u justen beber eats crap

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Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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