A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What do you call a black salesman? A salesman, you racist.

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Golf.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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Why do people where saggy pants that don't fit? They can't afford too buy new

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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why did the plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like your mom Give me some glue

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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Whats grosser then gross? A dead puppy in a barrel. Whats grosser the a dead puppy in a barrel? A dead puppy in two barrels. Created by : go josh or ty :D

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Why did Samuel drive his car into a tree? Because the tree was being a total jerk, blocking the road.

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What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops