What sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? A baby combing it's hair with a potato peeler.

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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white or wheat? wheat please.

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How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Nathaniel Nugnes walks into a bra

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What's worse than a bee sting? A katon.

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? Glasses

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? ........finding a worm in your apple.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

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What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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dat shoe shine tho

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A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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