A man and his friend walk into a bar. The first man said to the bartender "I'll have a H2O, please." His friend said "Yeah, I'll have a H2O too." The bartended wasn't an idiot and was aware that he was in a bar, not a science lab, and handed them both a bottle of H2O. His friend still died.

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because her husband was abusive and he killed her for not making him a sandwich. They had to take the body the the funeral home so she could have a proper ceremony. Her friends and family mourned her daeth.

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment was left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Why was David enjoying his cream of mushroom soup? Because David had spent the last 17 days eating flouescent light fix-ins.

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what would u di if u were having anal sex with a black guy and his dick was soooo bi that ir rippped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Knock knock no answer, as the tenant of the house was out shopping.

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the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

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what did old retarded autistic ginger kid get for his birthday? i dont know thats why i asked

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Denard Robinson

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I used to be an adventurer like you, until old age slowly took away my ability to move and go adventuring

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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