Yo mama's so fat that they have to grease the door frame and hold a twinky on the other side to get her through.

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

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How did the hillbilly fix his PC? He brought it to Wal-Mart and got a diagnostics from an expert then installed anti virus software.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Why didn't little jimmy take out the trash? He is a rock

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why did the boy die? because he got shot

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Has anyone else noticed that the very least popular and the most popular anti-joke on this site are both related to the Holocaust.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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