How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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What do you call a black guy who wins a race? A winner

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Any similarity between Jesse and a human is purely coincidental!

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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why did the boat sink the captain drove it into a pile of sharp rocks

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There are fewer coppers on sundays. As well as criminality.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

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How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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Why did labour not win the election in 2010? Because they are clearly shit.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

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LET'S PLAY CARDS SHUFFLE THE DECK *person with a deck-patio* no please don't

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops