A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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A doctor tells a guy: "I have bad news. You have Alzheimer's, and you have cancer." Guy says, "Thank God I don't have cancer."

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why did the Asian crash her car? Someone shit on her windsheild.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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A man and a bird are on the edge of a cliff. The man falls off and dies and the bird flies away because birds can fly and people can't.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops