What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because women have the same rights as men thanks to the 19th amendment and sexism needs to die.

What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'why the long face?'. The horse does not answer as it cannot speak or even understand english. It was later destroyed by the government.

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

Q: IMAGINE that your in a heart racing battle with a huge grizzly bear when suddenly a bird picks you up and carries you to china and leaves you on the adge of a cliff which then you are chased by warriors and are forced to jump off the edge. What do you do? A: Wake up

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

What's Rupert bear's middle name? the

Andoni was here

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...