A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

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Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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Whats worse that having cold soup? Cancer

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Dude man, I'm high...

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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Shltskc gw? G

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Inbreeding is really funny if you think about...

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What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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