What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

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roses are red you are dumb no one will care when you die

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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Whats The difference between a soccer mom and a pit bull? One's a dog ones a human. 363\

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What's worse than The Holocaust? CREED...

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Ryan Maharaj is INDIAN!

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Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate you, Go die in a hole.

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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A priest, a rabbi and Santa walk into a bar. that's a highly coincidental situation.

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What did the sphinx say to the Minotaur? Nothing, as they are fictional creatures and in according to probable science, don't not exist.

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What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

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You know what's a real drag? A club foot

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There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

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In an effort to bond, the American president and North Korean Supreme Leader place a bet on a football game. If the President was correct, the Supreme Leader would have to buy them a drink, and vice versa. The game is close but in the end the President's bet wins. He asks for the drink, but the Supreme Leader refuses. An argument breaks out, and lasts for several hours. Eventually the Supreme Leader becomes too infuriated, and leaves. So the next day, North Korea declares war on America and launches nuclear missiles towards them, millions of lives are lost, and the world descends into anarchy.

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A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Did you hear the one about Steven Hawking into a bar? I havn't either, but its probably a hoot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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