Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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How do you get a one armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder, he needs help.

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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How do Yankees fans cheer for their favorite sports team? Let's go Yankees!

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Okay

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Q: Why did the black man die poor? A: Because he was financially irresponsible and wasted the millions left to him by his father fueling his alcohol addiction, slowly grinding away at his organs until he died of cirrhosis of the liver.

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Yo Mama is so poor, she can barely keep a steady income and cannot support her family of 10 even with support of food stamps and wel fair and will probably die soon due to diabetees because she wasted her food stamps on food that is bad for the average persons diet and due to a lack of exercise. I am worried about her she seems very depressed due to her wight and fatality outlooks and you should probably direct her to your local clinic to make sure she is OK and try to help her with her weight mangment problems. I am scarred for you and your family and I wanted to make sure you are ok and are doing well in education and are on track for a very bright future probably going to a universety which you will pay for with student loans from a bank in the local area. I am extremely worried so are you OK with all of those things I said before and if you are not I can help you get onto the right track and your mom can have a happier longeer life filled with fun happinnes wisdom life and other things like peace and forgivness for all people should get that it is part of our natural human rights and we deserve such things I speak of. Are you ok and does your life apply to thing things I have said in the past couple of motivational minuites. ''get the fu^k off porch''

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Knock Knock whose there your parents your parents who your parents just got malled by a hobo with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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