Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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I viewed the terms of service and did not agree to them.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why was Jacob not allowed to play sports? He fell down in the middle off the street and got ran over 50 times and could never do anything again.

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Since chickens cannot speak, it is difficult to say.

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kathryn atkins

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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"Where are my shoes?" asked the man. "On your feet," I replied. "You are a paraplegic and have no feeling from the waist down."

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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