- Anti Joke

Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

Society wants to be so prude and pure that on AntiJoke, you actually get words like P U S S Y and P E N I S censored !

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

Why did the scarecrow win the nobel prize? Cos he was out standing in his field!

What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Answer: because he had no guts

An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

Little Johnny is sleeping overnight at a school camping trip. The teacher goes around to check tents to make sure everybody is falling asleep fine. Little Johnny, however, says, "Miss, I am scared of the dark. Can I sleep in your tent instead?" The teacher reluctantly agrees, finishes checking around and brings Little Johnny to her tent. "Miss, can I play with your belly button with my finger? My mommy lets me", asks little Johnny. The teacher reluctantly agrees. Suddenly, the teacher jumps up. "THAT WASN'T MY BELLY BUTTON!", she shouts. "Yeah," says Little Johnny. "Well that wasn't my finger, either."

You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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