I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cot Death.

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because Suzy has no arms! Knock Knock! Who's There? The Holocaust

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Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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I saw a black dude eating fried chicken a white guy said he wanted some but the black guy said don't put your white mayonnaise on my fried delicious KFC fried chicken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the cock was on the other side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops