guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +13

im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

time to spruce up!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What lives in holes? A: Jerks.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A pogo stick. Just kidding. Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's Green And Has Wheels? Grass, I Was Just Kidding About The Wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than banging your knee on the coffee table? Tripping over one of the legs and smacking your head on the floor, causing a severe concussion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Where's the soap?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops