Q; Whats the hardest part about nailing a dead baby to a wall? A; my dick while doing it.

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

What do you call a black man driving a fire truck? A firefighter you racist.

Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

This sentence will not end the way you octopus.

Why did the man have a really short temper? HOW THE **** SHOULD I KNOW???

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

What is green and is not grass A frogg

Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

Q. Why dont people like shane murchan ? A. Because he wears chinos .....

KOOKABURRA

A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...