- Anti Joke

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

Let's say you're inside a building and you are lost. You need to find directions to get out. But the building is so big almost like a maze or labyrinth. You start walking until you see 2 doors and each door is guarded by a man. Now in between the 2 doors is a message on the wall. It says: "Dear friend, I assume that you are lost and want to get out. There is hope! You have an option to choose one of these doors guarded by these men. You may ask one of these men which door leads to freedom. However, 1 guard ALWAYS tells a lie and 1 guard ALWAYS tells the truth. If you are to choose the wrong door, you will be locked in the building forever. So choose wisely and ask the right question. Good luck! Sincerely, the owner of the building." So you think to yourself and try to figure out what the hell did you get yourself into. This is a very tricking situation. You have one liar and one honest man. How can you tell which is lying and with is telling the truth? After minutes of confusion and thinking, you have finally decided to ask one guard a question. ----spoiler alert----- So you ask the guard one question. "What would the other guard say is the door to freedom?" The guard said "This door" You choose the opposite door and you are now free. The End [Explanation: You have 2 doors. Let's say door A is losing and door B is winning. If you ask the liar what would the other guard say, he we lie and say door A. So you pick the opposite door, which door B and you win. Now if you ask the truth teller what would the other guard say, he we tell the truth and say the same answer, door A. So you pick the opposite door and win]

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

What's greenish blue, smelly, and mushy? The fungus under my sink.

If I am from Texas, where are you from? You know the answer? HOLY SH*T! YOU ARE A GENIUS!

Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

kathryn atkins

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

I put my baby in a microwave.

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

Anti Joke

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