Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Rosees are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia and I do too

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it looked both ways and saw no cars coming.

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Q: What do you get when a black man dates a white lady? A: A perfectly acceptable relationship.

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how do you make a plumber sad? tell him to pull up his pants

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What kind of horse can do a backflip? No kind of horse.

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A policeman walks into a pretzel shop. He sees two freshly baked pretzels. One was a salted.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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