Yo momma is so fat that she is in the guinness records

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +3

-Why was little Johnny sad? >Why? -Because he had a frog stapled to his forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An African-American is like a hammer. It can't be trusted in the hands of women.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats as Heavy as a rock and also as light as a feather? Any object in space because the lack of gravity to give the object weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock eater,

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a person who will soon die of beeties

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

so theres a plane, inside the plane are 500 solid bricks one falls out, how many are left? 499 What are the three steps to putting an elephant into a refrigirator? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, close the fridge. What are the four steps to putting a dear in the fridge? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer and then shut the fridge. It's Simba's birthday, what animal isn't there? The deer. its still in the fridge. a lady is walking across a street, she suddenly falls to the ground why? Because the brick hit her in the face. (:

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops