What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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djkldfnblfnbofgb

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Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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Chuck Norris.

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What is green and is not grass A frogg

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What did the kid tell his father? Go away, I'm watching elmo!

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what do you get when you cross a jellyfish, a jar, and a brown crayon? i dont know, im not into genetics, and jars dont have genes.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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I used to be an adventurer, but then I decided to retire.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

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What's worse than forgetting to charge your cell phone battery? Getting wrongfully accused and going to jail and get raped by inmates for the rest of your life.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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