Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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why was six afraid of seven? prison changes a person

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Im not random you just can't think as fa-bunnies

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What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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How do you kill a beetle? Wait outside his apartment and shoot him

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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