I walked into a Mcdonald's and ordered a Big Mac. I regretted it later.

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How do you tell the difference between Lila and derrek ashmore? Oh wait they both have vaginas

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A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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Diarrhea

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what the difference between a dog and a blue whale? im going to burn your house down

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

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What did the little boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer What did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that far

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers but at least i do not have Alzheimers

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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Yanter, Look it up

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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What happed to the kid who survived cancer? He got hit by a plain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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