1+1= 69

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Q: Whats worse then being murdered? A: Nothing

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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