- Anti Joke

Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

There once was a cheerio. To protect the names of the innocent, we'll call him mike. Mike the cheerio is just a plain cheerio. Mike was walking down the street one day. He was feeling good. He had his headphones on and was enjoying a stroll. All of a sudden, he turns to see a beautiful honey-nut cheerio behind the counter of the store he was walking by. He thought to himself "Man, she's gorgeous. Maybe ill go ask her out." But then he remembers that he is just a regular cheerio. He then goes home. So he starts getting ready to go to bed. Mike then looks at his reflection and sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. Mike wakes up the next day. He realizes that he's become an apple jack cheerio! Mike then goes to work feeling great. Life is looking up. On his way home from work he even asks the honey-nut cheerio out on a date. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. Then he sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a honey-nut cheerio! Mike then goes to work, comes home, and gets ready for his date. The date goes great and they end up dating for two years. Mike then decides to propose to his girlfriend. He decides that he needs to ask her father for his blessing first though. The father had to work late that night so mike decided to just ask him the next day. Mike goes home and gets ready for bed. He then sees a spot on his arm. Then he does something you should NEVER do as a cheerio. What does he do? He LICKS it. Then he goes to sleep. He wakes up the next morning and realizes that he's become a regular cheerio! Then he remembers that he was supposed to ask his girlfriend's father for her hand in marriage. Mike is scared that he may now say no. He decides to go for it anyway. Confused, he looks at Mike and says "A regular cheerio, marrying my daughter? I don't thinks so." Mike and his girlfriend break-up because of this. Mike feels really distraught over the whole set set of events. He goes to the bar to get really drunk. Mike sees one of his friends at the bar. He tells the friend his story. The friend tells Mike that he needs to go get his mind off of it. He then offers Mike to go to a new club. Mike accepts and they go off to the club. Mike sees so many hot cheerios out on the dance floor. He goes and starts dancing. He dances so much that he starts getting really thirsty. He looks around but can't find anything to drink, so he decides to keep dancing. His thirst really starts to get to him and he starts to really need a drink, He looks around and still can't find somewhere to get a drink. Then he thinks "Wait what kind of drink do people have at a party? Punch! So he looks through the entire place, but there was no punchline...

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

knock, knock no one answers man goes home and shots himself because he feels alone

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

Knock, knock Who's there? Die bitch

Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

What's the best part about Africa? Nothing.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

I like to eat.

What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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