How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

Womens rights.

-What did the gay guy say in Mcdonald's? -Ill have a number 10, with hot sauce and a large coke.

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

So one time this woman was learning...

Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

It gets very hot in Mianus, Connecticut

I wish I Charlie Sheen's Dealer.

How Many Friends Did The Ginger Kid Have? None.

Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

A homeless man stumbles upon $100 bill. It is actually just a food wrapper, his eyesight is lackluster.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

What's the difference of a team of black people and a pile of shit? None. Kelvin Yang.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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