Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because someone was chasing it.

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Hey, come here often? No.

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1+1= 69

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some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Carlton

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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I like to eat.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Military intelligence.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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