A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A black man killed someone

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Shit.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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why are elephants gray? to tell them apart from blueberries.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

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A fish walks into a bar

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No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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