How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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Knock Knock Come in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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to the one below me. YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

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The Aristocrats

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whats green white black red and can fly? nothing.

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potato

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I met a man today. His name was John.

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I was having sex with my girlfriend the other night and she called me a pedofile. i told her that was a pretty big word for a 9 year old.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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why did abby get fired? cause she showed allie anti joke.com!!! :0

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Baaaaaaahhhhhh

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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What did the boy reading a book do? Run into a pole.

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why did the black man eat two buckets of fried chicken? because he was hungry and he likes fried chicken

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Living through the Holocaust and finding a time machine to take you back to the beginning of it again.

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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Why did the snowman melt? It got tired of everyday life and decided that it would be best if he disappeared from society... His name was Dave...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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