How do you make a baby cry? You hit it in the face with a hammer.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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GooglePlus.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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What's the only part of a vegetable that you can't eat??? His wheelchair

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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If life throws you lemons Catch them

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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wat do call a joke thats funny a funny joke

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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A man was driving to work when he realized he hadn't told his wife happy anniversary. He turned the car around to head back home only to remember that their anniversary was on Friday, not Thursday. The man shared some nervous laughter with himself as the radio played in the background. He continued on toward work and had a run of the mill day meeting with potential clients.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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