A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Oh...okay, good.

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I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What do you get when you put a dead baby and some nails in a blender? A dead baby and some nails

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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A Mexican and a black person both jump off a bridge, who hits the water first? Neither, as all matter falls at the same rate, regardless of weight, size, or ethnicity.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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jgkbk,mn

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Women's rights

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knock knock you may come in

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Two guys were sitting in a pub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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