Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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How do you know that a woman is having an orgasm? They go like OH YAH OH YAH:D

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A pilot.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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A fish walks into a bar

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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LAMBORGHINI MERCY, YO CHICK SHE SO THIRSTY! IM IN THAT 2 SEAT LAMBO WITH YO GIRL... and I'm giving her some Gatorade because it'll quench her thirst but I'm making sure she doesn't spill on my seats because it's new, k

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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Why could the woman cook for her family? She didn't have one she was anti-social

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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A man runs over a woman wth his car. Whose fault was it? The man because he should be driving on the roads, not in the kitchen.

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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I got shot, you laughed

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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Women's rights

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Knock knock Who's there? Me. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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