- Anti Joke

why was the kid named owen? Because thats what his parents wnted him to be named

This is not a joke.

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

Jesus the comedy skits: 1. Jesus just hanging around on a sunny day getting a bit philosophical... Jesus hanging on the cross screaming towards the sky: "FATHER WHYY!?" God: Giant thunderbolt across the sky as a giant storm begins, it rains whirlwinds etc supposedly worst storm since Noah`s ark according to The History Network Wet,cold Jesus with ringing ears: Gurgle spits ... WTF kinda answer is that? Could you not just have said because I work in mysterious ways or something equally stupid? TRUE fact: "then the lordeth sent forth a hailstorm of epic propotions in order to silence all of his insolent children, this was before the burning ashes and the sharp nails of course" -History channel 2. Jesus The wiseguy eh? Jesus being wise: "Only he that hates his mother and father can become my a student of mine" "And as thus God commanded that a single spiky cross with his son`s measurements where made, when Peter asked oh why lordy lordeth? God responded: Because of sin" and all was good" "Then Peter asked Goddeth, oh lawdy lawd, what is sin? God replied: Something original now shaddap!, and all was good?" 3. Brokeback Jesus fact: The bible does not use the word Donkey. "Jesus, why doest thou enter thy neigbors home and ride upon his large ass?" Jesus the psychic: "I shallt just ride upon his ass for a few hours, then God shall take ride his ass back", Ugh, I just got the feeling this is going to sound total Ass in the future... Who is quoting us by the way? -History channel. 4. Jesus the: Dumbass moments extended "Then Jesus touched upon the fig tree that denied him figs that WINTER, later the fig tree was dead for its lazyness" (real if not correctly quoted Jesus fact Kay?) Fact: Fig trees dont exactly look alive during winters, besides no trees give fruit during winter. "Then Jesus proceeded to demand eggs from a rooster, which he killed for the roosters lazyness" "Then Jesus proceeded to milk a bull and..." 5. Real story that does not quite make sense to me. Some blind guy was possessed by Legion, when they (WE ARE LEGION aka bunch of demons) saw Jesus they begged him not to kill them, as they would face God`s wrath. Jesus seemingly spared their life by putting Legion`s into several pigs... Which ran off and drowned themselves in the nearby river. ...Why did they suicide? Was it so humiliating going from a blind old man, towards pigs that they literally drowned themselves (one of the more painful deaths there are) and then probably faced da lawds wrath anyways?

Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

What's worse than being human? Nothing... No I literally mean nothing at all. Like not being anything?

james schmitt whats your last name

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

A duck walked up to a bad hearing drug dealer, and dealer asked duck, "What you do want?" A duck said, "Quack!" So dealer gave duck a crack

What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

A black guy walks in to a bar.

what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

Chocolate rain Awesome!

What's funny? Women's rights.

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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