In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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This is not a joke.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Q. Why did billy die? A. Becuase everyone dies in life

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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What do you call Morgan Freeman on a bad day? Samuel L. Jackson.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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The size of Idris Elba's penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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