I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

thumb_up thumb_down +26

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. Then he woke with a fright In the middle of the night And thought about what a strange dream he was having.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A bear walks into a bar. There were 4 fatalities and 3 were taken to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

GRAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Donald Duck go to college? He didn't, he's a fictional cartoon character.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: How did the hispanic youth express his irrational fear of snakes when he watched, "Snakes: The Life of These Tranquil Creatures"? A: He screamed and burst into an uncontrollable bout of agitating laughter invoked by his natural uneasiness at having witnessed something very disturbing indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your momma is so fat that she has really high cholesterol but also an undoubtedly warm personality.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

little billy has 50 chocolete bars, he eats 45 of them. what does he have now? diabetes, little billy has diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the rooster chase the chicken? - They were playing tag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops