What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender says, "Why the long face?" and the horse says, "I have cancer."

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How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None

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Q: How many babies does it take th paint a barn? A: I dunno, how hard are you throwing them?

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A man hanged himself, leaving a note. Nobody found him, nor the note. Nobody cared for him.

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Brett Farve

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Why did Michael Jackson like 24 year olds? Because they are apart of humanity and he had no reason to dislike them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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