Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why do Jewish people where hats in church? They feel there head will often get cold

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are black violets are gray im color blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock? WHAT?!?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What do you call a group of asians riding their bikes while carrying large bags of merchandise filled with an ample amount of video games? A: Obviously, a few enviromentally-friendly entrepreneurs who managed to make enough of a profit via their established buisness to the extent that they could buy what they required and get some other desired items as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

JUSTIN BEING SMART

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Wife: My husband is dead! Son: Sounds like a personal problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? 1, just because their Jewish doesn't mean their incapable of changing a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Well, this is fun.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between an Asian driver and a Belgian prostitute? Nothing at all: Marie-Edith Yang is proud of her mixed heritage, and earns a decent wage in a relatively clean brothel in the lovely little medieval town of Bruges.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops