What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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Why do Jews have big noses? Because it is genetic.

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

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What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

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Jess Burns

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

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Why did the chicken cross the road To go to KFC

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a man eats at a restaraunt alone, because all the people he loved died in a tragic boating accident while he was out of town on a business trip

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What did the man say to Hitler? You're a douche

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Whats white and can't climb trees? A Fridge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops