What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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Q: what happened to the man who dropped the soap? A: nothing, he casually bent over and picked it up.

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blubber vaginass CC

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Guy 1 : what you watching? Guy 2 : a documentary on birds Guy 1 : can i watch it with you? Guy 2 : yeah sure go for it.....

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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here i am sitting here staring at the wall and beside me is a doll, oh no its moving, i hope it doesnt lick tht popsicle, oh no it just licked tht popsicle, oh no oh no

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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That awkward moment when you thought this joke was going to be good but you thought wrong. Keep looking for good jokes.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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I Love Hitler.

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gays

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a finger And the middle ones for you

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why is a zebra named gorge fat? Because it ate Mcdonalds

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Yo Mama's so fat, she weighs more than an electron.

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The Aristocrats

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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All of these jokes suck. Just saying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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