What did the doctor say to his patient? You have cancer

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? Cancer

Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

Want to hear a joke? Justin Bieber

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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What's white and black and red all over? Slaughtered Cows.

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

What is the difference between a black guy and a bucket of crap? Well, one consists of two inanimate objects (a bucket and feces) and the other is a human being of African/African-American descent. As you can see there really is no real comparison here.

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

Ruller

Knock knock... Whos there? The IRS, we are taking your house.

What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

What do you get when you mate an elephant with a rhino? Not much of anything except inter-species animal sex, considering the fact that the two do not share enough genetic material to create any sort of offspring.

Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

" I can't here you it's too dark!"

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

blubber vaginass CC

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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