Chuck Norris can fly around the world in under 2 days. In an airplane.

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

Knock knock. Who's there? Cannibal. Cannibal wh... As the man opened the door, he was eaten. And they lived happily ever after. The end.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Q: What Jews are doing in Palestine? A: Living.

A basket full of puppies can do anything, except put out a fire.

What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

Whats the funniest part about 911? Over 1,000 People Died

One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

What's the problem with blonde people? They don't have black hair.

What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

A black man is playing guitar for a white man and a chinese man. After he is finished playing the white man and chinese man compliment him on his nice playing.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

...Jack Vale

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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