What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being mentally retarded.

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Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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What did the unintelligent sports jock say to the band geek. Hey.

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Hello world

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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whos got a massive fukkinn melon...B.I.M

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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