Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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Why was the man afraid of the cat? Because he is allergic to cats and might die if he gets too close to it.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Shit.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Knock Knock Come in!

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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