Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say mustache? ...No. I wish you had said mustache.

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^that joke's not funny

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69

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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A gay guy walks into a bar. Nothing is said to him, because homosexuality is accepted in this area.

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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Why did the man cross the road? He was obviously trying to get to his work, however he realized he was jaywalking in front of a cop and had to pay a fine and ended up being late to work.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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a Mormon knocked on my front door three times, and i took three seconds to answer, whe shook hands for three seconds. how many dead kittens can fit in my blender?

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the cow goes moo

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what are you eating under there? oh a sandwich, its actually really good.... want a bite? yea thanks! yum yum

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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Today I had sex with a married man, but thats OK he's my husband

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

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Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He didn't. He slowly ate it on a warm day although it's taste was somewhat of a disappointment.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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what did the 0 say to the 8 nice belt

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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