Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

Uncle Eugene enjoyed to drive. Then he was killed in a car crash.

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

Roses are blue violets are red pull down ur pants and get in my bed :D

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

I love you very much.

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

A baby seal walks in to a club

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

You are the third derivative of the position function.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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