Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems, nice tits

What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

what is the square root of pi? crust^2 + Cool Whip

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

You are the third derivative of the position function.

why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

Obama

Brett Farve

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

Why did the man break into the bank? Because he was a bank robber

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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