what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? - Getting raped by an giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There once was a man from Nantucket, but he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

son, you're adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -82

crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

thumb_up thumb_down -82

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +109

your matriarchal component is so overweight that her body mass index is over the desired level for her height and age

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Knock Knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave's crying because his grandmother has alltimers and now can't remember his name

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How is Stevie Wonder like Ray Charles? They are both talented musicians

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter, the lightbulb never went out in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops