I used to love Christmas Until Santa woke me up and told me my dad didn't exist....

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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Whats black, white, and huge? The world if you are a dog.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What's green and wheels? Your mom.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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What do you call a man which busts ghosts A ghostbuster. Duh

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Hypothetical questions are a waste of time and you are not achieving your full potential by reading this during work.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he lost his grip on the branch and was unable to reach another before reaching the ground.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot turned into a loaf of bread.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because she had been forcibly removed from her place of food preparation by a large angry mob of her neighbours who thought she was a wtitch and were now going to burn at the stake. It is Salem, november 1643.

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

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What is the difference between Jews and the boyscouts? The boyscouts come home from camp.

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What is worse than a little girl being raped by an old man? The accidental firing of nuclear weapons at the US and the US responding by launching nuclear missiles at an unknown enemy then assuming that targeting everyone will kill the enemy. Thus bringing an unprecedented and abrupt end to the world, in a cataclysmic nuclear holocaust. Leaving that little girl to be raped by mutated creatures - that survived the mass destruction - and eventually being consumed by those creatures.

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him "why the long face?" the man replies with "I have AIDS."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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