What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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What's black and white and red all over? Lots of things, including certain ugly clothing.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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penis

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

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your all shit at jokes

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A man is on anti jokes, he is not laughing.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually they are not, they are purple. Whoever the uneducated idiot was who made up that poem deserves nothing more then a slap in the face

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What is the difference between jam and jelly? Jam has chunks of fruit, jelly does not.

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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Global Warming.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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