What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

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What's brown and sticky? Brown paint.

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Jonathan is like a btterfly. They're both asianu

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Why couldn't dracula's wife get to sleep? She had insomnia.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Why did Susie fall off the song? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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Why did the plain crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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What did the dog do when it raised its leg? It peed.

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What's big, black and long? The line in KFC

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One day there was a guy who went on a date with a girl. They went to the movies and ate popcorn. After the movie ended they had a candlelit dinner at a restaurant nearby. The guy ordered a fried chicken and the girl ordered a watermelon salad. They went home after a great dinner. I'm not sure how the story ends but I remember the story was racist.

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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three men walk into a bar. they are immediately rushed to urgent care due to blunt force trauma

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops