why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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why didn't the kid win the talent show? He wasn't talented.

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What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

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What do yo call SQUIRAL!!!!

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yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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what do you call a fish with no gills? I dont know what youd call that creature...but its no fish.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 is a serial rapist with a violent temper.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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What's the difference between a baby and cheese? I don't like cheese in my sandwiches.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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Why did Lebron leave Cleveland? It's a terrible place to live.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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