A fish walks into a bar

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-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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What's pink and smells like a red rose? A pink rose.

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How do you cure AIDS? You can't.

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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Why did the man go to space? He was a highly trained astronaut

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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What did the policeman say to the man accused of murder? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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knock knock. who's there greench greench who greenchicken feathers

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What do you call a dragon that doesn't breathe fire? A Griffin.

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Nickelback

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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what do Asian people eat? what Asian people eat.

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Roses are red Roses are red What is big Cherenets head

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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