What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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Your mother smells so bad that she scheduled an appointment with her doctor, who prescribed her deodorant soap and chlorophyll and suggested she see a therapist for her chronic self esteem problems.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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I got shot, you laughed

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WHAT DO YOU CALL MEXICANS IN A HOT TUBE BOILED BEANS (; NO RACIAL

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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I don't hate you because you're fat. You're fat because I hate you

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Are you well? No, I'm not a well, I'm a person.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Q. Why did the girl fall of the bridge A. Her dad pushed her

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Dana Cohen not having herpes.

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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The jets are a good team..

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold their head under water.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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What did the blonde do when she found out one is most likely to get in a car accident within 6 miles of the home? She drove more carefully in her neighborhood.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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What is the difference between Whitney Houston and Elvis. They are dead. And it make people go boo hoo

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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The Aristocrats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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