What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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How many gays does it take to turn a lightbulb? 1

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven beats his wife.

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- Knock Knock - Whos there? - No one

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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live babies

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

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If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call a group of asians? China.

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DERP

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What is Jason? Black.

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Jasper sucks.

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Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What do you call an asian man driving a plane? Nothing, you cannot drive a plane you can only fly it

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Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

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black people. that is all...

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if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

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Why was the farmer buried in a grave on the top of a hill? He had died and this would be his final resting place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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