So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

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A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

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What do you call a man with no legs? A paraplegic.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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You are the third derivative of the position function.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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