Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because Bob's a fish.

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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how do you french braid? ask a french dude to braid your hair DUHH

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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What do you call a pig standing on its back legs? Yo mama

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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