chuck norris is a little b|tch

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? Getting herpes from a vibrator that you found in a dumpster.

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

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Why was the school teacher crying? Because after 12 minutes of watching each one of your students be crushed to death by an 18 wheeler, anyone would cry.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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potato

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Q: What did the Black Man say to the Mexican Fellow Guy? A: Hello.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a Coke.

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Dying of terminal cancer.

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Why did the burglar rob the bank? because he needed money due to the economic decline.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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