A joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He had a heart attack

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what do you call 4 terrorists going off a cliff in a car? A waist because you can fit 2 more in the trunk.

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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An English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man walk into a bar. I observed this from outside and therefore have no idea as to any of the sequence of events that occurred once they had entered the bar and disappeared from my line of sight.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

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GEOVANI is a queer that dosen't believe me

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What do you call a school bus full of black people? Not a school bus

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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- Bob, what's interesting to see in NYC ? - Yes, exactly

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potato

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

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Hello world

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Why was the black man chasing the little girl? The black man was the adoptive parent of the little girl and they were playing tag.

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Why did the retard have no friends? Because somebody stitched his mouth and eyes shut so he couldn't be social.

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There was a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman. All three of three of them walked into a bar. They began a heated debate over the benefits of their healthcare plan, payed the tab on their drink, then proceeded to drive home in their Toyota Prius.

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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I you beat Chuck Norris in arm wrestling, you will be proud of yourself and he will go home with nothing.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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