So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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roses are black violets are gray im color blind

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

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Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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why did the chicken cross the road? who knows, we cannot read an animals (or a human for that matter) mind. Perhaps, though unlikely as he's a chicken, he saw a friend across the road or a child who wants to stroke him. Perhaps he is trying to escape being used as a circus act or being cooked for a supermarket. We cannot complain if the chicken wishes for a better life. Anyway, we shall never know why the chicken decided to cross the road, and never will, as it is dead after being hit by a car.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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A man was walking down the street and witnessed a car crashed. He was traumatize.

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Q. How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Lets go ride bikes

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Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena

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What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bar. Even though he couldn't read the sign, it was still a bar.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens' rights.

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A deer walked into a hunter's bar... and was shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops