what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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Carlton

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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Jim and Larry work together. Jim works hard, and Larry is a bit of a prankster. One day, Jim is having a rather rough day, and Larry looks to cheer him up with a good-natured joke. Knowing that Jim's wife prepares dinner for him every night of the week, he calls her and tells her that their boss has decided to pay for a dinner out, that she should take the day off and just get ready for Jim to come home and pick her up. Larry will later follow up by calling a pizza delivery place and having them send a special no hard feeling message with two large delicious pizzas. He forgets to call the pizza delivery man until later that night, after which it's too late and he thinks "I'll just explain the joke to Jim tomorrow." And goes peacefully to sleep. Arriving home and finding that dinner is not prepared, Jim savagely beats his wife.

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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