Everyone lies about agreeing to the terms of service... look, I'll do it right now! because i have to click it in order to post the joke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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What happened when a fish rode a bike? It fell off and injured itself.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A man walks into kindergarden class with a beer. He then gets arrested.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a pedophile.

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Why did the Polar Bear fall through the ice? The ice was unable to support his mass

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what do you call a black guy on steroids? a black guy on steroids

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Black Poeple

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Why did Hitler go to the hospital? Because he shot and poisoned himself.

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how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

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Me: so Megan did it hurt Megan fox: did what hurt? Me: when ur aged face wasn't good enough for the new transformers movie?

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

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How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

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Wher did suzy go after the explosion? everywhere

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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What do you call a contraption made of a wooden rod attached to three strings attached to three rocks? A completely useless and pointless invention.

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How do you keep a woman entertained? A delightful romantic comedy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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