Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because Santa doesn't exist.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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Oh...okay, good.

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Jess Burns

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Your momma's so fat, that if the word for fat was "plachow" I'd say "yeah your momma, she's a little bit plachow."

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So Lindsay Lohan walks into a jewelry store. She buys a $2,500 necklace and goes on her way.

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Yo' momma's so fat that when she steps on the scales the number seen to appear is proportionately larger than that seen to appear when the average human steps on them.

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A hiker gets lost on a trail and ends up wondering deep into the woods. He comes upon an amish farm. He knocks on the door and an amish man answers. The hiker explains his predicament, and the amish man says "sure you can stay in barn, but promise me one thing, don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course I won't". He then goes to the barn. Right before the hiker falls asleep. The amish farmer comes in and says "make sure you don't have sex with my daughter". The hiker says "of course not". So the next morning the hiker is rested, well fed and is about to leave when the amish man approaches and says, "Thank you being decent and christian like."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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why did the man come out of the closet? because the dark scares him and it smelled like moth balls

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my aunt Always used to say"go with the flow" she died in a kayak accident last Sunday

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops