Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

Why didn't the chicken cross the road... Because he got hurt last week while crossing the road.

A man walked into a haunted house and screamed. He had stepped on a nail.

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a Mafia boss so they put him in prison.

Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

A very busty blond and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender asks with a smile, "What'll be today, pastor?" "Wine. please."

What did one direction do? Nothing, their music is written by someone else they don't use whatever talent they have and they sound I million dying kittens.

did you hear about the sidewalk? its all over town.

What did the little girl get for christmas? her first period

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jeff. Jeff who? Sh*t. Wrong house.

ekoj

Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

American healthcare.

How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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