You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa. A minute passes.

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A pornstar walks into a church, she has remained close to Christ despite her condescending career choice.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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What did the little boy say when he was sick? Nothing. He stayed in bed and slept all day.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Chocolate rain Awesome!

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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A guy walks into a bar. He order three drinks and hands them to the lady behind him. It's because she is an alcoholic.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Roses are rde, violets are bule, I am dyslexic, how about you?

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Why was grandma lying on the floor? She just died of lung cancer.

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at rimes, refridgerator.

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Why do Chinese people smell? Because of their ethnicity...plus, they smell.

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Why did the mechanic sleep under a car? He had narcolepsy.

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the cow goes moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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