A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb? One, it's just a lightbulb

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

I once bought a pack of batteries but they weren't included.

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

Want to hear a joke? Jerry Sandusky's innocence

I like to eat.

Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

What's green and wheels? Your mom.

What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

What did the alcoholic do when he finished his beer? Opened another one.

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

Kenny G

What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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