Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -18

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose fell on your head." ..."MMMBBWWAAAAAGGGHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Just one.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -54

A man was drowning in a lake and so he asked God to save him. A man on a boat came by and said to the drowning man "Do you need any help?" The drowning man said "Yes! Thank God a boat came for me!" So the man on the boat pulled the man from the water and saved him.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

A blond, a brunette and a redhead are all trapped on a desert island. They work together and manage to survive until help arrives.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down +109

How did the old man climb the hill? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

some one knocked on tims door, at the same exact time, someone died in africa

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

how did the bling man cross the street? He didn't half way there he tripped and got ran over by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? A visit from the Make a Wish Foundation and the opportunity to see her favorite band in concert. Unfortunately, she was very ill from the chemotherapy, and was unable to really enjoy herself at the concert. She passed away several days later, surrounded by family and friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A man walks into a bar, orders a few drinks and becomes drunk. the bartender calls a taxi and the man is driven home.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How many jews can you fit in a buick? 6...only if you squeeze 4 in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Do you want to hear a joke? Sure. Justin Bieber is straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops