How do you escape from being enlisted in the army of your nation? Flee to a different country and bring along your valuables.

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you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

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What does a good joke get for Christmas? no laughs.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Japan

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What do you do when a girl you gave roofies to wakes up? Take your tongue out of her ass and run!

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What do you call a cereal killing homeless man? Roofless

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is a woman

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What part of the cape were you on? Cod.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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Person 1: Your Ugly Person 2: Your mom's ugly

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple in a car crash.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights

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whats brown and falls out poop :) - haha

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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Your Momma’s muscle to fat ratio can only be explained in irrational complex numbers.

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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