What do you call a man with a convex isogonal nonprismatic head? Rhombicosidodecahedron head.

you, me and i need to stop doing meth!

What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

A gorilla walks into the DMV to apply for a drivers license. Turns out it was just some guy in a gorilla suit doing a prank. Everybody instantly realized this at the time since gorillas aren't indigenous to the local area. They guy responsible was charged with a small fine for public mischief.

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cats dont talk.

What do you get when you cross an octopus with a camel? Nothing, inter-species breeding is impossible.

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

Knock knock Who's there? The police your son died in a car wreck.

Let's write an anti-joke. K.

a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

Three black men go to the basketball courts one day hoping to play some ball. On the way there they see a homeless man with a sign that says "Homeless. Anything will help." However, since they were on there way to play ball, none of them found it necessary to bring cash, thus resulting in them walking by the homeless man without giving him any money.

Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

One kid clicks his pen. The kid sitting next to home clicks his pen. They next 3 kids click their pens. The teacher walks by and says "monkey see monkey do." And the kid that first clicked his pen responded and says "monkey pees all over you."

A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

Hey, come here often? No.

You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

A baby seal walks in to a club

1+1= 69

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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