a little boy and a pedophile are walking in the woods. it is late at night and therefore very dark. the little boy turns to the pedophile.and says "gee mister, it sure is scary out here." the pedophile responds "yeah, and your'e going to get raped"

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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Why did the homosexual rapist walk into the pizza shop? Because he was hungry after a long day of raping little boys.

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Why was Brother Jim so loyal to god? Because he had a harpoon through his anal cavity.

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I wanted to burn some calories, so i lit a fat kid on fire

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Q: How do you stop a baby from spinning in circles? A: Nail his other hand to the floor

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Hey, come here often? No.

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You know what the best part about sleeping pills is? No, what is it? Zzzzzzzzzzz

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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1+1= 69

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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A rat scurries into a bar. Six days later, all of the people in that bar die of bubonic plague.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hodor

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Whats worse than a dead baby? 6 million dead Jews.

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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