What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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What's the difference between a zombie, a vampire and a werewolf? One is a zombie, one is a vampire and one is a werewolf.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Fed-Ex. We have a package for you.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Why was the child in the clown's car? Because the clown was a serial killer and abducted the child while he was at soccer practice, the child then raped and murdered

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did you ever see a butter fly?

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If life hands you lemons Take them

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Why did the doctor wear glasses? Because he was a whale.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. Neither of the muffins say anything because muffins can't talk.

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Knock knock Nobody's home.

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A black succeeds

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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A African man and Hispanic man fall off of a cliff, which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground simultaneously, due to their equal mass and surface area.

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This is a haiku The second line is longest Hippopotamus.

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What do you call a man that is half Chinese and half Irish? Whatever you want, he's deaf so he won't be able to hear you anyway.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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how did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken..

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Womens rights.

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Why was Billy sad? An evil clown hit him with an Axe.

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What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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Why do birds suddenly appear? If you were more observant, you would notice they usually approach gradually.

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potato

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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