What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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Oh...okay, good.

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What is a chinese person in your house? A human being

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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I like to eat.

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What's the difference between roast soup and pea beef? Nothing because neither of them are physically possible; you can't roast soup and you can't pee beef

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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I'm not unemployed. I'm on sabbatical. Hey! Don't get all religous on me.

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Your mom is so fat that her BMI is in the morbidly obese column.

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Obama

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Your mom is so fat, she has sleep apnea.

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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Q:What happens to an elephant if he falls from a building with 10 floors? A:He dies

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What do you do when you come to a fork in the road? You take it

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing because they are on opposite sides of the earth

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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What do you call a black Jew that is also a crippled midget with no family except for an autistic brother? His original name that his mother gave him at birth.

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? seeing this joke 1000 times on this website

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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