What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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What has 4 eyes, but can't see? 2 blind people.

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What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

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Q: What do you call a unicorn on a mountain? A: Freaking sick.

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What time is it? 12:19. weren't we supposed to leave like 5 minutes ago? 4. For the mall...

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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Why did Hitler cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

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What is the difference between men and women? Several physical functions such has the reproductive systems, bone structure, and voice pitch.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What's black and white, and red all over? A police car. Well, maybe it's not red all over. Just that little light on top. Oh, and the tail lights.

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar He sits down and has some trouble reading the menu but orders a beer

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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How many jews do you need to change a lightbulb? -One.

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Why'd the girl commit suicide? Because Justin Bieber admitted he was gay.

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Brett Farve

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how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

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What does AIDS stand for? Acquired immune deficiency syndrome

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what is worse than finding a fly in your coffee been raped

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side why didnt the chicken cross back? for the first time in his life, Clucky the chicken, felt liberated. his cruel life flashed before his eyes, forcing him to remember all the bad tines he had spent on the McKinley farm. all the eggs stolen from him, watching all his friends being taken for slaughter. it all came back. from the other side of the road, Clucky saw a place he never wanted to go back to, a place he wanted to forget. the day he chose not to cross back was the first real day in Clucky's life.

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What do you call a woman with one leg? An amputee

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Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops