Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Q: What did the redneck say with missing front teeth? A: "I can only eat things with my back teeth and I have AIDS."

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

thumb_up thumb_down +57

a guy walks down a street when he sees a bomb he walks away

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the white man win the race Because there were no black people attending

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A: Knock, knock. B:Who's there? A: It's your neighbor, Sam. B: Oh, well my extended family is over for dinner at the moment. Would you mind coming back later? A: I suppose that would be alright.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +29

-hey sam look what mom gave me for christmas -what eli? -a new baseball bat -thats your prosthetic leg silly

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man sees a giant talking frog walk into a store. He later dies due to an overdose of LSD.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do you kill a rich blonde? give her black die

thumb_up thumb_down +23

yo momma's so stupid that she can't support your family, because she can't get a steady job, meaning she does not have money to pay the bills or buy food. This also means you must now get food from your local food bank and sleep on the streets.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

No.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why are anti jokes funny? You can trick an old person to think they are

thumb_up thumb_down +21

If I have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, we both have the same monetary value.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why shouldn't women wear watches? Because there's a clock on their cell phones.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops