Today I exchanged money for Meth. There is no joke here. I'm a drug addict

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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What is yellow and sleeps alone? Yoko Ono.

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What do you call a old guy watching little kids in a pool? a life guard

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why did the boy poop his pants Yhe Holocaust

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A man saw a dinosaur. He probably watched it on the television because dinosaurs have been extingt for a very long time.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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Im not racist i love black people i have 5 of them.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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I love you very much.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding cancer on your back

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1+1= 69

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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How do you make a Fireman cry? You kill his family in a fire.

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A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house?  No Neither has he

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A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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