What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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what did the apple say to the banana nothing, bananas cant talk

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What did the young girl with leukemia say to a stranger? I am afraid

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A man cheats on his wife and ruins his marriage of 24 years.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

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Why was six afraid of seven? Well, seven has a huge drinking problem. He killed a man in a bar fight once. He is also very intense about his boxing career. He works out so hard that he is huge. He has enormous anger problems as well. Seven isn't the only one with problem though. Six is a Vietnam veteran and has been easily scared ever since he came home. The psychiatrist says he has a bad case of paranoia. Just something about seven reminds six of the soldiers that killed his friends. Also seven ate nine, and cannibals are SCARY!

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How do you stop a bus? Put the brakes on.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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One man said to another 'I think I'm going to have a chinese tonight.' the other replied 'it is wrong to eat people, even if they are chinese.'

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So this blonde walks into a library.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and they cut his head off

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Hey, come here often? No.

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how do you drown a blonde? chain her to a cinder block and throw her off a bridge.

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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how do you grow a choade? idk ask shea

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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why did obama become president? people voted 4 him.

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops