Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs on your doorstep? A: Whatever his name is.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red Fences are red OMG MY FENCE IS ON FIRE!

Ya well your momma's so hot...I'd bang her

A horse walks in a bar. Several people leave seeing the potential danger in the situation.

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

Were you born yesterday? Because I've got an erection...

does this look unsure to you?

What do you call a guy who stabs cereal? Mentally confused.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs wearing lead weights in a pool? Screwed.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Cause it was stapled to the cat.

Dana Cohen not having herpes.

ekoj

Whats black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white, black and white? A Nun falling down stairs

Why did Napoleon cross his legs? Because he had to go to the bathroom

The jets are a good team..

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dyeing.

-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

blubber vaginass CC

Which is the closest animals to humans? Black people (nig3gers)

What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

Q: What did the hobo get for Christmas? A: Hypothermia.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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