Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. Why did the car crash? Because the driver was a loaf of bread. Why did the boat sink? Because the pirates attacked.

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Why did the woman die? She was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a black guy flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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What side of the cheetah has the most spots? -The outside.

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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Why did Hitler smell the flower? Chicken dick.

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A black man killed someone

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Why was the boy sad? Because his dog was brutally murdered and the man responsible painted his bedroom walls in the dogs blood.

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What's red and puts out fires? A fire truck? Oh, you've heard this joke before.

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Why is the sky red in London? Fire.

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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why do women have small feet. so they can stand closer to the sink

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Why did the baby cross the street? It was stapled to the chicken

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What do Ethiopians do at night? Sleep

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Jess Burns

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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What did the guy who speaks in tongue say to the other guy who speaks in tongue? Gibberish

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the cow goes moo

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An Arian man walks into a German-owned bar and asks to use the restroom. The bartender sees this acceptable and allows it. Soon after, a Jewish man asks the same question, but this time the bartender said no. The Jewish man thought it was an outrage and demanded why, so the bartender calmly explained to him that the Arian man was still using the restroom and that when he was finished the Jewish man was free to poo as he pleased.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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