How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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dildo

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A Catholic Priest, an Anglican Priest, and a Rabbi were in a train carriage together because they got a package deal to go to a conference on religious tolerance. Good for them.

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What do you call a goose with no arms? A goose

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What's worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman that won't do what she's told.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Situation. A man trying to find meaning in his life. Question. Why are desieses not colorful, and tasty. Answer. Adolf Hitler and his ice cream songs that he sings on sunday mornings during brunches.

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why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

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if this joke was a potato, it would be a good potato

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Your mom is so stupid that she failed out of high school and was forced to prostitute for money, thus resulting in you.

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Why did lady gaga set her alarm? So she could get up in the morning.

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How can you tell if someone is gay? It depends, sometimes they can be flamboyant or not. Actually, one could be straight and still be flamboyant, that's what makes the world less boring. Everyone is different, there's no surefire way of knowing, unless of course they tell you that they're gay.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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A jew walks into a bar. The bartender says "get out you jew!" The bar tender apparently was a Nazi.

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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Why didn't the blond walk into the bar? Because she saw 2 other people get hurt so she ducked

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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