How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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An american, a mexican, and an asian are on a boat. The boat is sinking because it is too heavy. The people decide to throw off things that they have a lot of in their country. The asian throws rice off the boat saying, "We have plenty of rice at home." The mexican throws tacos off the boat saying, "We have plenty of tacos at home." The american throws out the mexican saying, "We have plenty of mexicans at home."

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Anti jokes are funny, but also not.

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What's worse than having but sex and finding out you have aids? Knowing that the person you had sex with was dead

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Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 20 trees.

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How much does a polar bear weigh?. . .Approximately 515 kilos.

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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what did one cow say to the other cow. nothing as its mouth was filled with grass thus it could not speak or it would be deemed as rude.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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Why did the baby stop crying? Mommy shook him.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? Well that would be crude and insensitive to ask a person with dementia to do a task so easily performed by a person who is not non compos mentis.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing... she's ugly

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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What did the retarded kid get for chrismas? Nothing the orphanage could not afford to give presents to all of the retarded children

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Guess what? SHADAP

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What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Why does Santa go through the chimmney? He's to lazy to use the door.

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What did the Muslim do on 911? He weeped for the loss of his many good friends and relatives

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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