A fish walks into a bar

How do you tie your shoes underwater? In a submarine

Q: Why was the blonde so dumb? A: Because she wasn't properly educated.

A baby seal walks into a club

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To murder your whole family.

Q; What smells like chicken, tastes like turkey and looks like duck? A; Nothing...dumbass.

Two Jews walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a wonderful time.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

In 2012 at what age are Americans allowed drink? At any age. liquids are vital for human beings to survive.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

yo momma is so fat her doctor recommended a new healthy diet.

whats worse than one bee sting... two bee stings whats worse than two bee stings... the holocaust whats worse than the holocaust... three bee stings

What blue and red? poop in a saggy bag

A priest, a Rabi, and a Monk walk out of the bar and go home.

What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

A straight-A star quarterback was about to throw the game-winning pass during the final game of his school's season. If he got this pass their undefeated record would have been completed for the last 50 years. Before he threw the pass, he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

Why did the guy read anti jokes? because there funny

What do babies and caterpillars have in common? They're both dead. Except the caterpillar.

A scottish man having fun

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

What did the deer say to the hunter? If you shoot me i'll die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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