Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have multiple personalities So do I

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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Q :What do you call a cow running through a field? A: Bob

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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mitt romney

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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A dad is very proud of his son for just having graduated preschool. he tells him son, ill get you anything you want. he says i want a pink pingpong ball. the dad is confused but he does it anyway. the next year, he graduates kindergarten. the dad asks the same question. the son this time says i want 10 pink pingpong balls. so the dad, very confused, does it. 5 years later, he graduates elementary school. this time he says 100 pink pingpong balls. high school the dad says cmon your going to college ANYTHING! A CAR? A HOUSE? no i want 1,000 pink pingpong balls. the kid then goes to college and 4 years later and majors in african relief. the dad is very proud but he says. lemme guess? 10,000 pink ping pong balls? YEP. the kid goes to africa to help out because he's a good person. he then meets his wife helping out there also. they get married and the dad flies out to africa to see the wedding. he then knows that he needs 100,000 pink pingpong balls shipped in. the dad goes back to the US and 9 months later finds out that he is a grandfather. he ships 1,000,000 pink ping pong balls into africa. a few years later he finds out that his son contracted a rare african disease and is going to die very soon. now the father is deeply in debt from all the ping pong balls, so his community helps him raise money to go to africa. he meets his son on his death bed. and they talk for a long time. the dad finally says. yknow son i really need to ask you, why did you ask for all those ping pong balls? the son says: "Well dad, I--" and then he dies

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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All dead all doom or all dead? How can you choose the question doesn't make sense. dead all dooom ohhhaklsdjfla;ksdjfal;skfjasd

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Why did the groom have cold feet? Because his socks were slightly damp resulting in evaporation and the cooling of his feet, as well as the cold weather in December.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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A man walks into a bar and only gets a glass of water due to the fact that he is a recovering alcoholic.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was wearing a shirt depicting a skull, something six had an irrational phobia of.

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What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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Itookasipasoda

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WHY did the man refuse to put on his shoes? He didnt want shoes on

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That awkward moment were your giving your girlfriend a blowjob then you realize your giving your girlfriend a blowjob.

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How do you get Jack to fall of his bike? Push him off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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