roses are white violets are green if you you sit on santas lap he will stab you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How can you tell if a duck is watching you? Look at its eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

DERP

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Peter climb the tree? Because he's a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's red and green? A frog in a blender!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the Scorpio say to the Aquarius? "How's Uranus? Ohhhhh!" The Aquarius replied: "I have maggots."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

School means: Seven Crappy Hours Of Our Lives

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man burn his face? He went into a fire. :D

thumb_up thumb_down

''Wanna hear a joke?'' ''Sure'' ''a joke''

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies? A young girl you know personally, completely alone with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing, the black person was sleeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse then listening to Nickleback? The Holo- On second thought, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

balls in ya mouf

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

To pen state administraters walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your mum is so fat, she has a larger bmi than someone with a healthy bmi

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What happens in the end of the original "Pinocchio" Italian fairy tale? He is hanged.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats the same about a turtle and another turtle? they both seem to like lettuce

thumb_up thumb_down -22

-Why Peter is going to mall for buying some beer? -Because he was 18 and he was able to do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A: What is worse than a melted chocolate bar. B: An eaten one.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops