why did the man drop his ice-cream cone? He had no fingers, he lost them in Vietnam while he was protecting our country

What's up? Not the planes, there's a terrorist on board

Yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned for her health.

A chicken crossed the road.

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47

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs? Names

Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure and drugs.

what goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? baby twins in an acid bath.

42

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be?" The duck replies, "whiskey". The bartender gives the duck the drink and the duck sips it quietly, knowing he is ruining his life. Meanwhile, two cows in a pasture look for some grass to eat.

Call me Mr. Flinstone, for that is my surname.

Roses are red Violets are blue, You are reading jokes online, Go make some friends, or take up knitting because it has many benefits.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It got shot. Why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. Why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a race to the bottom? Why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree? No one knows, not even the guy who made this joke.

What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

What do you get when you cross an alligator and a kangaroo? Nothing. An alligator is a reptile and a kangaroo is a mammal, therefore it is impossible for them to breed.

What did the family in debt get for Christmas.....a eviction notics.

What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so they can be used interchangeably.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order drinks and have a conversation and eventually they leave.

Why was a black man running in the street with my wallet in his hand? Because he saw me dropping it and was trying to reach me to give it back.

pup

What's black, white, and hungry? The population of Zimbabwe.

Q: What's black and doesn't work? A: My old, broken-down piano.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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