Three men are in prison and comparing crimes. The first says that he got three years and he never robbed that store. The second says he served six years and he never hit that lady. The third said he got life, and he killed every child in that orphanage.

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A woman had a dream. She followed this dream and completed all the goals she had set in life and was excessively happy. Then she woke up and her original suspicions were confirmed...it was a dream.

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An Englishmen, an Australian, an American and a Chinese man were in a bar they were all friends who were having a drink together.

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How many Jews did Hitler kill during the Holocaust? Too many.

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A horse walks into a bar, The bar tender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has terminal cancer"

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time

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What did the family in debt get for Christmas.....a eviction notics.

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What is big, black, and hairy? A coconut.

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Why couldn't little Billy jump? He was dead.

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What do you call a black man carrying a bag full of drugs? A police officer who has just confiscated the bag from a drug dealer and is on his way to send the bag off to be destroyed.

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Knock knock Who's There? My name is Jeff

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trash can? 12

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why are black people so stupid an lazy? They aren't. This is a negative social stigma and if you believe it you are a racist.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally!

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry, we don't allow horses in here." The horse then leaves.

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why did the girl fell off the hammock? because she didn't have arms and why didn't she got up? 'cause she had no legs and why didn't anyone helped her? 'cause she had no friends and why did she die? 'cause she fell into a puddle facing down

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Roses are red Violets are blue, You are reading jokes online, Go make some friends, or take up knitting because it has many benefits.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Someone else's cheese.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shrubs are red, Trees are red, Holy shit my garden's on fire!

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Why did the straight man turn gay? He didn't. He was always gay but had to hide this from his family and friends because of an overwhelming sense of homophobia in his community.

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What did the shark say to the elephant? Nothing, they live in different habitats

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A penguin bikes to a bakery, the baker asks him "what kind of bread do you want?" Penguin replies "it doesn't matter, im biking"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops