What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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-Whats worse than a joke with no punch line? -What?...

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Lacrosse

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What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

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Why was the girl crying at the dance? Someone shot her.

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Like Harry Potter? Like anti-jokes? Check these out: http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38139-why-did-dumbledore-fall-off-the-astronomy-tower-because-snape-killed-him http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38140-knock-knock-who-s-there-you-know-you-know-who-call-him-voldemort-fear-of-a-name-increases-fear-of-the http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/recent/38141-a-black-kid-an-asian-kid-and-a-jewish-kid-walk-into-a-barrier-they-are-students-at-hogwarts-school

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Why was the man angry? Because I slept with his wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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