What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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What has two arms, and two legs but cant walk? A Cripple

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

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Penis.

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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What do you call a black man with a gun? A police officer.

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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