Q. What red and scratches glass A. a baby in an oven

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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You and your wife walk into a bar, you both order a drink and celebrate your good health.

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A bear walks into a bar. Mauls every one in it, then is shot to death by animal control.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

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A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

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Why does Waldo wear stripes? Because he doesn't want to be spotted

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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Three nuns were talking in the church. The first nun said, "I was looking in the Priest's desk and found a condom." The second nun said, "I saw also saw that condom, except I poked holes in it." The third nun promptly reported them to the Priest causing the first two nuns to lose thier jobs.

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there was an owl, she had a baby, threw up, then died

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What did the boy with no legs and no arms get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Your mom.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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What does Batman say to Robin before they get into the Batmobil? ... - Come on Robin, let's get into the Batmobil...

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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A dirty joke: The white horse fell in the mud.

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a man is found hanging from the ceiling of a barn and there is no chairs or anything to stand on around. his girlfriend goes in to deep depression and kills herself the next week.

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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