How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a car? A lot.

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Jesus said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life." But, John came fifth and won a toaster.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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Yo mama is so dumb, she makes blondes look smart!

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Justin Bieber saying "shawty"

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Boy: Hey, guess who likes you. Girl: Who? Boy: NOBODY!!!!!!!!

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Like my status for a tbh?

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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Lacrosse

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What's worse then a worm in your apple You took a bite outta that apple.

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Why do black people ride Septa? Because septa is an affordable and convenient means of transportation.

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Knock knock! Whose there? ... The person who was knocking suffered a fatal shot to the back of the head by a drive by shooter, if the person at the door had just opened it, instead whose there? (...which no one does anyways...) The knocker may have survived. He had a wife and 5 kids, 3 Grandkids.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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