What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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Q. A black man and a Mexican are in the back of a car. Who's driving? A. The police officer

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Two robots are walking down the street together and walk into a bar. Just kidding, they can't walk because they have Polio.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food there.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Except, technically, violets are violet.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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I made a friend today. His name is don. He poops burritos. I like burritos.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Just kidding. He's paralyzed

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shabalabadingdong JLR

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Take my wife. . . . to the hospital. She is dying from a gunshot wound to the head.

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Once upon a time there was beautiful princess, ONCE!

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A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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What did one duck say to the other? Well, it said "Quack" but it's not certain if it was actually addressing the other duck or if it was just making a noise in response to some other stimulus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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