Q:How do you make an accountant cry ? A: You kill his whole family

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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How are Steve Jobs and the iPhone similar? They both keep getting thinner as time goes on.

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How do you make a bird drop a worm? Wring it's neck. P.S: If that anti-joke didn't persuade you to vote thumbs up for this post, then perhaps these delightful lyrics will convince you otherwise. I see them staring back at me They know my name The faces in the sky are looking for something more My friends have paper smiles and laugh at me in all my trials Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia My friends have hollow eyes They're made of shapes and curvy lines Their eyes are everywhere and see everything what do They need me And I need them See me And I see them Within The lines they've been burned in my mind It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/e/elena-siegman-lyrics/pareidolia-lyrics.html .] My pareidolia The loneliness is only missed when I am alone O yeah I might try to find my light tonight Hide my sight from eyes I try to fight My nine eyes of light die by the blight Ride white knight unite my plight tonight They're inside me They're inside me I'm inside out I'm inside out They're all around Within without Within without They're inside I'm outisde They're all around They're all around They're inside me I'm inside out They're all around Within without It all ends so violently I know My sweet pareidolia It all ends so painfully and slow My pareidolia la lalala lalala lalala lala

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What's wrong with the muffler man? his body.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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The Bible

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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What's worse than the conservatives? Nothing, because conservatives fuck everything up.

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France never surrender.

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? One's a black man and one's a pizza.

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Why are young girls better at school than young boys? Because young boys think about young girls.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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A man walked into a bar and was then taken away in an ambulance dude to a severe concussion.

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What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup? One of them involves the killing of an intelligent animal and the other involves the harvesting of seeds from a non-sentient plant.

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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