do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

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What did the greeter at walmart say to the black man? Welcome to walmart.

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The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

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whats worse then justin beiber NOTHING

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roses are red, Violets are blue, i have a gun, Suck my dick

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's gay and gay? Joe

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

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Whats similar between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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The Mets win the World Series

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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The

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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I love you.

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Q : Why did the girl fall off the swimset ? A : Gravity pulls smaller masses towards larger masses, so the girl being the smaller mass, got attracted to the bigger mass, AKA the Earth, and that's why she fell.

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"hey you know that graveyard down the street." "yeah." "people are dying to get in there."

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What did charles get his sister for christmas? Nothing, he's dead

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In Soviet Russia, people are dying of starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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