Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A dead baby causes years of grief and broken families

A Man visits his Doctor because he is feeling slightly unwell.

Q:Which way do gay people walk? A:In One Direction

How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We know about the cocaine.

How do you start a Mexican parade? You roll a quarter down a hill

what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

What did the cow say to the farmer? 'Moo.'

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

Lacrosse

What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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