How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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What did the Hindenburg say? -nothing it just blew up

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What did the gay guy get for Christmas? AIDS

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Once upon of time an old man goes to a hospital and tells the doctor that he wants to get circumcised for the first time. The doctor says "Are you sure, you are 90 years old" and the old man says "please doc, just do it." So he goes on with the procedure and the old man is very happy. He returns home with his foreskin and keeps it inside a small box. The old man goes out for dinner and comes home to see his foreskin missing. He gets very angry and asked his daughter "Have you seen my little box?" Daughter says no. He asked his son-in-law "Did you take my box with my foreskin?" Son in law says "No, never." The old man asks the dog "Doggie, did you take my foreskin?" The dog says "Why yes, yes I did." The old man angrily says "Well give it back!" The dog says "I will give your foreskin back if you do me one favor." The old man says "What is it?" The dog says "Three blocks down the street there is a purple house with a cute dog that I would like you to bring to me to go on a date with. Bring her to me and I'll give you back the box." So the old man walks three blocks down the street and spots the purple house. He knocks on the door and a woman opens the door. The old man asks "Excuse me ma'am, i just got circumsized yesterday and I was wondering if I can borrow your dog for just one night because my dog some how blackmailed me and kept my foreskin and said that if I can get my dog and your dog together he would give me my foreskin back." The woman replies " Who the FFFFF are you?!!!"

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Jeff was a very hard working accountant, after a very long day he drove to burger king, he looked up at the menu and said to the lady. I'll have a burger please.

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Yesterday I caught my 4year old son shaving, trying to be like his dad. Sadly, he accidently sliced through the main artery supplying blood to his brain and bled to death in my arms.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Two black guys walk into a bank They work there.

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How do you kill a clown shoot it in the face

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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This site is hilarious oh wait...

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your mama smells so bad she should probably go take a shower.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ...Finding the same joke int he Inti-Joke.

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I rolled and evaded the bomb, I still was injured.

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Q. What do Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A. Same middle name.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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what did the orphan get for Christmas? a family

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Your mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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