How do you keep a dog from barking? Kill it.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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What did the racist guy say at the baseball game? I am at a baseball game.

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A guy walks into a bar and thinks of a superlative anti-joke. After having an enjoyable time at the bar he then promptly goes home and posts it for the world to see.

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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noodles

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Chuck Norris died.

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What do gay horses eat? A combination of straw and legumes, much like heterosexual horses do.

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Rick Perry.

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What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

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The Bible

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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whats the difference between a white man and a black man? I like cake

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why was the boy mad somebody was liking his foot

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What's the difference between Santa Clause and Tiger Woods? One is a mythical person who parents exploit to get their children to behave due to lack of parenting skills.

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France never surrender.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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What happens when you cut Chuck Norris? He bleeds

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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what do you do when you see a priest in a bar? tell him that is un richeous and he shall pay for his sins right before you kill him

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What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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What did Obama do when he heard of Bin Ladins death? He informed the nation of what had happend.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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