Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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What do you call a chav in a box It depends what kind of a box If it is a coffin you call him dead If he is in a cardboard box you call him homeless It really just depends

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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What's cooler than ice ? Liquid oxygen.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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How many midgets can you fit into a telephone booth? Well, it really depends on a lot of factors. The size and design of the phone booth itself is pretty important. Also, midgets really have a wide range of sizes, but we could do some analysis and find out the average at least. Based on that we could have an estimate done soon.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? How many? How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

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A man went in for a doctors appointment and said, "Doc, it hurts when I do this." The doctor responded, "Try to abstain from from putting stress on that area. It might alleviate the pain a bit."

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Lacrosse

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What is brown and smells like bacon? Bacon

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he wasn't invited.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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So a man walks into a wedding and asks the waiter where the to wait for the punch... the waiter says, "there is no punchline."

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roses are red, violets are red, bushes are red, flowers are red, trees are red, my garden is red... HOLY CRAP MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!

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where do you find a dog with no brain? in its grave.

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women's rights

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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