A Hindu, a Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They then proceed to brutally murder each other due to their strong religious differences.

How do you wake up Lady GaGa? You poke-poke-poker face

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Somebody elses cheese.

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Your Momma's so ugly that if she got plastic surgery she would probably look better

What is bad at catch The twin towers

What's big and black? A black fridge.

Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

How do you give a 90 year old woman a pap smear? You don't

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

Why did the depressed man complain about life? He didn't he committed suicide.):

Kim Kardashian.

What is brown and tasty? A brownie.

what goes oom oom a cow walking backwards

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? The number varies based on the amount of skill and understanding each infant has in using the paintbursh and red paint.

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

Why was the legless man out of his wheelchair? He fell down some stairs.

what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

How do you make a baby cry? You leave it unattended

guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

Q:why didn't billy go to soccer practice A:there was a billboard stapled to his neck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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