Dont drink and drive. You might spill some.

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A black guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. They were very successful and became the most popular restaurant in town.

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What's big and black? A black fridge.

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What did the black guy get on his SAT's. Barbecue sauce

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, This is Sparta, I am a chair

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Why was the protester tied to a tree? They were tired of him protesting.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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what do you get from sleeping with a hooker? An orgasm

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Why are there so many jokes about people walking into bars? Bars are known as a place most people go to for a social occasion, making them a place that most people can relate with.

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Why did Oscar masturbate? He was on life support?

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Why did the kid want money? So he could buy pokemon cards.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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What would you call a guy with no arms or legs in the water ? Well you would probably call for help, because he would be drowning seeing as how he has no limbs.

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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A man walks into a bar... and gets hurt.

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how do you torched helen Keller? put her Ina round room and tell her the bathroom is around the corner

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My life

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The Theory of Relativity, proposed by the Jewish physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955) in the early part of the 20th century, is one of the most significant scientific advances of our time. Although the concept of relativity was not introduced by Einstein, his major contribution was the recognition that the speed of light in a vacuum is constant and an absolute physical boundary for motion. This does not have a major impact on a person's day-to-day life since we travel at speeds much slower than light speed. For objects travelling near light speed, however, the theory of relativity states that objects will move slower and shorten in length from the point of view of an observer on Earth. Einstein also derived the famous equation, E = mc2, which reveals the equivalence of mass and energy. When Einstein applied his theory to gravitational fields, he derived the "curved space-time continuum" which depicts the dimensions of space and time as a two-dimensional surface where massive objects create valleys and dips in the surface. This aspect of relativity explained the phenomena of light bending around the sun, predicted black holes as well as the Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation (CMB) -- a discovery rendering fundamental anomalies in the classic Steady-State hypothesis. For his work on relativity, the photoelectric effect and blackbody radiation, Einstein received the Nobel Prize in 1921.

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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The

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France never surrender.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Your Mom.

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Someone thinks Justin Bieber is strait

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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