Knock knock. Who's there? The landlord. You're being evicted.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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You can throw a horse a Frisbee but you can't make him catch it

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? a bike

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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A man walks into a Library and asks for a book on suicide. The Librarian says: "Do you have a library card?" The man says no and applies for one.

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WHat is the one thing an alcoholic needs everyday? Rehab.

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How do you keep your dog warm? Put antifreeze in its water dish.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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Two men are walking. The first one ask "what time is it?". They die.

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A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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Your mom.

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What's that smell? Your grandmother being burned alive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A manufacturing defect in the chain link fence released several chickens who are now freely roaming the area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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