What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head? a bullet

Four guys walk into a bar. They buy their drinks and stay for a couple of hours. After they are done they get a cab ride home. It was a lovely night.

what did the black kid get for Christmas? your bike

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "For Christ's sakes, Grandma, put your pants back on!"

why did the goose lay an egg? because it was pregnant .

theres a fat guy

What do you call a man that was decapitated by a stray saw blade? An ambulance until when you have a reality check and realize that in the mass hysteria of witnessing such a horrific event that this man is already dead. You then callan undertaker, his family and his friends to attend his funeral in a week or so. You then walk over to him and cry.

Roses are gray Violets are gray I'm a dog

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because not only was she deaf and dumb, but she was also blind and it's not possible to drive if you are blind.

Are you from Jamacia? Because I want to have sex with you.

What's big and black? A black fridge.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, in fact, the "road" in this joke symbolizes the Mexican/American border. The chicken's real name is Esteban Jimenez and he crossed the "road" to reach his family on the other side so he can start his life over. In addition to this, Esteban's real dream was to establish a 401k and possibly go to law school so he could begin his own law firm.

What do you call a black man without a job? A man disenfranchised by the failing American economy.

What's black and white, and red all over ? An interracial couple who were both gruesomely decapitated in a freak car accident.

what's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm ? finding a half worm.

What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

What's the difference between being gay and being homosexual? Nothing really. The two words are synonyms so try can be used interchangeably.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

do you want my comeback? its in your mums mouth

A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? Nigger

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Due to Helen Keller's disabilities she wasn't able to own an animal. If she did have a dog, it would be named spot because that was a popular pet name in that period of time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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