A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is legally blind

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Q: What do you call cheese that is not yours? A: Cheese at the grocery store that you have not purchased yet

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Ouch, a papercut .. what could be worse? A hatchet cut.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why did the Russian take a boat ride? Well this isn't possible because we all know that in Soviet Russia, boat ride you.

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Q: What do you get when you cross and owl with a bungie cord? A: My ass

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What did one retarded person say to another? asiuasdhfiusanklasndfkjlnknankjas

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To girl in a bar: Grab your coat love... It's cold in my basement.

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How is a Jew and a White Person alike. 'cuz you touch yourself.

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roses are red violets are blue ill cut your dick off and use it as glue

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what do you call a muslim flying a plane 911

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a pizza? the pizza wont scream when you put it in the oven.....

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Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

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There are 2 Muffins in an oven in a bakery. The first muffin says "Is it hot in here , or is it just me?" The other muffin says " We are going to die in here and no one will here us screaming."

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Two Mexicans walk into a police station... they don't come out!

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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o | ,'~'. / \ | ____|_ | '___,,_' .----------------. | ||(o |o)| ( KILL ALL HUMANS! ) | ------- ,----------------' | _____| -' \ '####, ------- /________\ ( ) |) '_ ' ,------|\ _ /_ / | |_\ || /_ /| | o| _\ _|| /_ / | | |\ _\____//' | ( ( | | | (_,_,_,____/ \ _\ | ------| \ _\|_________| \ _\ \__\\__\ |__| |__||__| ||/__/ |__||__| |__||__| |__||__| /__)/__) /__//__/ /__//__/ /__//__/. .' '. '. (_kOs____)____)

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1 + 1 = ? 2 "No" "what have you been smoking?" "Seriously, 1+1= window" "WTF???"

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What's the opposite of a joke. An anti-joke.

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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What do you call a Mexican worked with a sweaty singlet? A Wetback

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What did Batman Tell Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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