Q: What's a fish store with no fish? A: A water store.

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Q. how many Americans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? A. usually it only takes one, but if the ladders is unsteady he might need one or two friends to help hold the ladder

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What do you call a black woman getting hit in the face? Domestic Violence.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Tim: Jason, your dumb Jason: No I'm not.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are being pursued by the cops. They run into an old barn for a place to hide. They each hid in a different potato sack. The cops enter the barn, and seeing no one, leave and continue the search somewhere else. The three girls flee the country and give up their life of crime. The cops later go get some donuts.

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What do u get when you cross Napoleon and a stick of dynamite? A very bloody mess.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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What does a car and a t-shirt have in common? Nothing.

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Two peanuts are walking down a dark alley. One was a honey roasted.

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What is bad at catch The twin towers

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How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

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Why is the ANTIJOKE symbol 2 mask faces crying? Because some people don't know how to write a good joke.

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How do you make a black man cry? Kill his family

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Where did little Annie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What did the wannabe mother get for Christmas A miscarriage.

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What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Why did the boy get hit by a car? Because he didn't look both ways

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Why don't blind people own cats? They do, who told you that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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