Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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What do you get when you mix a crap with a fart and a slug? Urmom

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He than orders some drinks.

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Why did Tigger look into the toilet? He accidentally swallowed a dime the other day and wanted to keep an eye out for it.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I was eating an orange in the park last week when I saw four men brutally murdered before my very eyes.

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If pro is the opposite of con . Is congress the opposite of progress?

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Roses are red, violets are blue Vodka is cheaper that dinner for two.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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what did the penguin say to the dodo bird. nothing because dodo birds have bin extinct for thousands of years and it is highly unlikely for a dodo bird to be saying anything to a penguin do to the fact they wouldn't be anywhere near each other and neither species can speak.

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What do you call a mix between a beaver and a mammal? You can't mix beavers and mammals, and even if I had said a platypus that would not have been funny.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

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One penguin says to another penguin, "It looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other penguin says, "Yea, I have to go to dinner party later."

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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What did the 5 year old girl ask Santa for Christmas? A pony.

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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A jew, a black man, an Irishman, a Scotsman, an Englishman, an American, and a muslim walk into a bar. They discuss their racial, political and religious opinions and walk away after a pleasant evening.

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what did the homeless boy do when he saw a cup of water? threw it in someones face

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The AIDS patient was gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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