Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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We were hooking up and her mom walked in, i stood up, apologized and left

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A black man without problems.

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

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What's green and fuzzy and has legs that would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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There once was a man from Nantucket who secluded himself from the outside world because of a tragic event that happened to him as a child.

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Q: What's more gross than uncooked hamburgers? A: Afterbirth.

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Why did the black guy not have friends He was socialy awkward

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Why do giraffes have long necks? Evolution.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Two men are waiting for the traffic light to cross the road. One looks at the other and says 'Hello!' The other replies 'Hello!'

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Itookasipasoda

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Goats are like mushrooms, If you shoot a duck im scared of toasters

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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