What do you call a tree on fire? A burning tree.

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Somebody call animal control, there's a horse in the bar." The horse is then taken away and made into glue and dog food.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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-Knock Knock -Anthony got in a car crash -Who's There -He died

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Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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How did the man rob the bank? With a gun

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't; by the time Keller owned her first dog, she was an adult with exceptional communicative abilities for one with her condition. She frequently wrote about her beloved dogs and is even credited with introducing the Akita breed to the United States. If her dog had run away, it would be unlikely that she would have been allowed further dogs.

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What's black and white and red all over? A post-racial communist country.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

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The Mets win the World Series

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what did the girl say when she got a ring? OHHH look i got a ring!

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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One man's junk is another man's pleasure.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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