Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what does nike and the kkk have in common? Nothing as one is a brand of clothing ie;shoes, hoodies, etc. while the other is a racist cult formed in the 19th century which persecuted african americans.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -31

YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -91

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -117

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

thumb_up thumb_down +96

What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops