So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Whats a cat? A cat!

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

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Why do priest touch children? They are sexually deprived and frustrated because their religion forbids them from having a normal sexual relationship with the opposite sex.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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