q. whats worse than finding your girlfriend cheating on you a. the holocaust

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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What has nine arms and sucks? An appendage-rich octopus with an inhaling habit.

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guy 1- damn its hot in here guy 2- then turn on the damn fireplace

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Why did the koala fall off the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did God say to the Priest? Nothing, there is no God

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knock knock come in

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Womens Sports

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What do you call a black man in an expensive car? A licensed driver.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Your mama's so fat that we couldn't catch the cancer early and it gave her crippling weight problem. I'm so sorry.

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Whats worse than bad sex. Being nice raped in the anus by a teletubby.

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what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

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What’s brown, sticky and smells like poo? Shit!!

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Do you know what's funny about the holocaust? Nothing, it was an unspeakably evil act by a deranged man who should never have been given the power to command a nation

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Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

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What does Mickey mouse do every day? Minnie mouse

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Why did the deer hunter shoot a deer? He told his wife he bought a new TV.

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Asian NASCAR.

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Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

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So, a blind man walks into a bar with assistance from his friend. He orders a drink and the bartender complies. He then spills his drunk and then slips in it. He lays on the floor, his head hurting. He cries, knowing he never should've tried to stare at the sun for ten seconds.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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