Once upon a time, there was a potato named Ollie. Ollie was confused, because potatoes shouldn't have brains. One day, Ollie fell madly in love with a refridgerator named Bob. Chick-Fil-A killed both of them for being homosexuals. Chick-Fil-A then ate some Oreoes. The end.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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Hey, you have small hands.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then orders a jack and coke.

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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What is the only thing worse than being a smelly Jew in 1944? Being a Jew in 1944 to hit the showers.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I've ben told to open all your windows when a tornado comes. Who told you THAT? A guy who opened all his windows when a tornado came.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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This is a joke for Homeless people:

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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