Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Man: "Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter shrugs and walks away. The restaurant is subsequently shut down because the man was a health inspector and also found evidence of rodents in the kitchen.

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A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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a Jewish preist grew up in a black family. what do you call them? a loving family.

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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knock knock. who's there? Ida Ida who? Idanno, don't ask me.

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? I don't fucking know.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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knock knock. who's there yourdrive yourdrive who yourdriving me up the wall

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Whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? A mexican is a human being while a bench is an inanimate object.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Why does the Easter Bunny deliver chocolate eggs? Because

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what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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