Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer dragged him.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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knock knock whos there? a rapiest get in my van. ok, let me just get my purse

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rap3 them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rap3 him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rap3 him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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What did one eye say to the other? Nothing. Because eye's can't talk.

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Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

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What is the difference between a Jew and a canoe? A canoe tips.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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I know what makes young boys "explode" -dynamite

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guess what the quarterback did he threw the ball!

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Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left him.

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Q: what do you call a guy named Aaron? A: Aaron

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how do you get mhairi mcdonald to shut up? rip out her throat.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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how do you make a fat black man cry? Rape his wife.

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What do you call an Iraqi man steering the plane? a pilot, you racist.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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