What did Jesus get for Christmas? Birthday presents.

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

Yah? Well your a ********

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

what is the biggest lie in the universe? -click to enter only if you are 18

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

what's black, white, and red all over? any red object

Q. What did the man with no heart say? A. Nothing. No living creature can live without a heart.

What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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