what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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My nipple is bleeding

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Hi my name is Bob

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Q.Who do you call a lesbian. A.Shhaammmmm

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A black man walks into an all white bar. He was escorted out, ten months later he died of a heart attack

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I believe you, if something is possible, I know you can do it. I tried lucid dreaming once, but I felt like I began floating and that was no fun, scared me. I am pretty good at hypnotizing others, myself not so much.

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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why did the giraffe cross the road? because my dad and his "fishing buddies" are having another "meeting" in the basement. I hear weird noises, and I haven't seen my little sister in weeks, since the last "meeting." Dad said she went to a special camp for little girls. I hear horrible noises.

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If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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