why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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how do you own a ginger? you don't nobody wants them.

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A Homosexual, a Jew and a Black walk into a bar. They do not speak make eye contact or acknowledge each other in any way.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, my chickens aren't allowed in rural areas...

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Q1:Why was the homeless man homeless? A1:He suffered from a series of mentally disabilitating diseases. From a young age these disabilities went unnoticed and untreated. They evolved to a level in which he believes he is god, therefore he throws fescues at passing automobiles. Q2:Why does the homeless man throw poo at cars? A2:See answer 1

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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How did the osprey find the fish? He searched for it.

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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What's worse than going to boot camp? - going to concentration camp.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Knock knock Who's there? Happy 9/11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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