Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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i have cancer

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

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Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops