Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

9/11

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

Why did the casual smoker have terrible teeth? He very rarely brushed them.

What is worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust

Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

I'm funny.

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

Hey, you have small hands.

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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