Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

What is Mario's favorite food? I don't know. You should ask him.

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

Yo Mamma

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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