What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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YOLO

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

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A dog walks into a bar. A patron checks its tags and promptly calls the owner.

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops