I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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knock knock. no one's home..

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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What's the difference between a Porche and a Pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porche in my garage.

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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roses are read violets are blue u suck and ur gay

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Knock knock, come in.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

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How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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