There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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Knock Knock Who's There? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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A baby seal walks into a bar. Animal services are called and the seal is returned to its natural habitat. A man then beats it dead with a blunt object.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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