Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the man sad? His mom was killed in a car accident. His wife commited suicide? His kids were drowned in the bathtub by their mother before she commited suicide. But he was sad because he forgot to take his depression medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

why did the chicken cross the road? why should a chickens motives be questioned

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Why was the boy confused? Because somebody had been running around in circles around him and throwing plastic cups at his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +85

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

A traveling salesman came into town and needed a place to stay for the night. A farmer told him that he could sleep at his house, where he introduced the salesman to his young, sexy daughter. "Why hello," said the salesman. It's very nice to meet you." And then he went to sleep in the bedroom that the farmer had prepared for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

knock knock. who's there myfeth myfeth who myfether came off

thumb_up thumb_down +43

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two men walk into a bar, the third man ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane crash into the mountain? Because it was being piloted by a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the swings? She didn't have arms

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops