Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Whats red and is bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops