when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

Why couldn't the baby walk through the door? Babies can't walk

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

Joey and Jack walked into a bar, and proceeded to have gay sex on the floor.

how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Hola.

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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