What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -32

what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Netball.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you stop a bus? Wait at the bus stop and it will stop for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock Knock Come in Thank you very much. Don't mention it. Would you like a home made spinach roll?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats a cat? A cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little boy drop his Icecream? Because I ran him over with my Bus!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops