Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

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What is the most dangerous gull in the world? A gull with a machine gun!

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Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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YOLO

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where is my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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