Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Why did the plane crashed? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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