whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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pussy enough said

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Hey, you have small hands.

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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"Doctor, doctor! I think I've got Chlamydia!" "Yes, so you have told me. The urine sample you provided me with last week has come back positive. I'm sorry, sir, but you'll never be able to have children."

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Father: Son stop masterbating u might go blind Son: But Dad I'm over here

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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why do giraffes have long necks? because their heads are a long way from their bodies

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Why didn't Bill go to the party? He wasn't invited.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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