Whats a cat? A cat!

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Yo Mamma

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you going to let me in?

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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Why couldn't the car drive? Because its wheels were made of butter.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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