That's as gay as AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why do they call it lunchmeat? Because it is meat that you eat at lunch.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

thumb_up thumb_down -66

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +125

here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

thumb_up thumb_down +97

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I like boys!!!!! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

pussy enough said

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops