Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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here's a joke: Ron Paul: Hope for America

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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your mom

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robin has a boy friend its the green lantern

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

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Netball.

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How do you kill a blond? Make her listen to the song "Friday" for two hours straight.

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why couldnt the mexican jump the fence? He broke his leg.

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Whats white and cant jump? A refridgerator.

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How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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Why did the blonde go to McDonald's ? Because she was hungry.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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So - this baby seal walked into a club.

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If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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