What do you call a black man in a cotton field? A farmer

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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what did the beaver so to the rattle snake? snap your bagles

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Shoo! Shoo! Get out! Hey! Who's horse is this? I don't want a horse in my bar!"

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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how do you get 100 dead babies in a bucket? use a blender. how do you get 100 dead babies out of a blender? Doritio's

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What do you get when you mix life and cyanide? Death.

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Why couldn't Spiderman pay his rent? He didn't have enough money.

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How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops