What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What is the difference between a rose and a grape? They are both purple.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink, as simple as that.

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3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What do you get when you cross Chuck Norris with a cheetah? Don't do that, I'm pretty sure it's illegal for several reasons.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. 'Who's there.' The chicken.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

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Animal

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KNOCK KNOCK. who's there? Isdar Isdar who? Isdark in here.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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A whole family go to a water park. They have a great day.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Everything, because the Holocaust was a dark time. poop in the buttcheeks

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a man runs over his wife, who is at fault? -The man he shouldn't have been driving in the kitchen.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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black

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops