Hey, you have small hands.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

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William came home from school and was very tired. He went to the kitchen and got a chocolate bar. Then he died.

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How do you kill a blonde? Repeatedly stab a knife into her jugular vein

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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Q: So why does an Asian guy look at these two black guys and a white woman in the middle? A: Because he wants an oreo cookie.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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where did the black person go poop ? in the toilet!

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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