a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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What do iPhones and Nokias have in common The nokia is indestructible. I lied about the iPhone

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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I used to work at a lightbulb factory... I made the filaments

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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Hey, you have small hands.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

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I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

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What happens when a girl falls? Another girl pees her pants

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What did Lance Armstrong say to his critics? I have one testical

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops