Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

Animal

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

Your mother is so fat.

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

Q: What do you get when an angry black man walks past you. A: You get a promotion, the black guy was your friend Bob and he had just been suspended for failing to follow police protocol when apprehending a suspect.

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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