When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

Hi my name is Bob

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Politics.

Nice legs....What time do they open?

A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

Asian NASCAR.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

why did the black man drown? he cant swim

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

Animal

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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