Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

How do you know that your at a gay barbecue? Because, the hot dogs taste like shit!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A guy vociferiously kills another person- fueled by the incentive of personal gain provided by his rapacious, human nature. He is an army soldier who's triumphant in battle and hoping to recieve a promotion. However, ultimately all he did was essentially insignificantt and his acts of purported valor were diametrically unnoticed by all except for his closest friends/allies. He never did supass his original self of a soldier and died of a natural cause that was disclosed only to the members of his immediate family.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I like boys!!!!! CC

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between Jews, Muslims & Christians? Religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do you kill a black guy? Shoot him in the temple

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Diana and victoria

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats a cat? A cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops