Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her 64 times in the chest.

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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The Mets win the World Series

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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What do you call an epileptic in a bowl? James, if that happens to be his name.

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A black man, a mexican man and a chinese man all walk into a supermarket. Together, they purchase ingredients to make a delicious vegetarian lasagna. That night, they make the lasagna and greatly enjoy it together.

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My nipple is bleeding

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Police. Your mom is dead.

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Excuses are like butt holes...they are round

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What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

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What's black and blue and red all over? A person who was just in a fight.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Statutory Rape.

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A man walked into a bar, he spilled his drink.

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What is brown and has 3 legs? My severely injured cat.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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hrih

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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