LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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A skeleton walks into a bar. It's inside a person. He orders a beer and enjoys it contentedly.

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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Netball.

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why did the black man drown? he cant swim

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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why did the shark cross the road It didn't its a shark

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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a guy walks into a bar. unexpectedly, a terrorist walks in and shoots him in the head. After lots of therapy he can now go back to his average life.

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a man killed wife. he successfully rid the scene of all evidence and buried the body under a bridge. unfortunately he forgot to bury the head and went to jail for life.

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Scenario: 2 people are in a desert. There is only 1 bottle of water left to drink. Who drinks it? Neither of them, they drink the gallon bottle of gatorade instead.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Walk in to a room and sing "if you're deaf and you know it, clap your hands!"

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

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Why did the young man have a young woman do cart wheels when he was in his tree house watching her do them on the ground? Who knows?He never shared his feelings.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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