A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The customers observing this quickly leave because the bartender is talking to a horse, which does not talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

It's funny, because she's twice his size!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What is the secret to losing weight? Limb Amputation.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A: Knock Knock! B: Whos there? A: Its the f**king cops we have you surrounded.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the blind, deaf orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what do u call a black person a black person dehh

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It died

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is Kim Jong Un so fat? Because he takes all the food in the country and sends his own people to live in concentration camps!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a Mexican and a picnic table? The average picnic table can support a family of four, while a Mexican person, depending on his or her career, can support families that include over four people.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A suicide bomber enters a bar. Everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

thumb_up thumb_down

I was walking down the street one day when suddenly, a chicken crossed the road. Apparently it wanted to cross to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops