Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Think about this. I am lying to you right now.

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Q: Jeff has 10 cookies, He eats 9. Now what does he have? A: Diabetes, Jeff has diabetes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Q:Where does a woman work at if she has 1 leg? A: IHOP!!! :)

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops