Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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MWAAHHHHHAHAHHAH

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What do you call a Muslim driving a plane? You don't drive a plane.

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Hey hey what did the bald man say to brian moccia? lOL!

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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clamidia

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

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Why did the catholic priest go to jail He was a paedophile

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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