There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman... They all died in a horrible train wreck.

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

Hi Adam,

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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