What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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In Soviet Russia its very cold

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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2+2= 478

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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The NBA lockout

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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YOLO

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops