I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +141

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +79

Why was the mother crying Her son was killed by a meteor

thumb_up thumb_down +73

What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

In Soviet Russia its very cold

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

The economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i like pie

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops