What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

Why can't Michael Jackson drive? Because he's dead.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

The economy.

96

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Why was the mexican dead? Because he overdosed on Methamphetamine.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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