Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -95

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +142

What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

thumb_up thumb_down +96

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +86

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Rebecca Black's new album.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Itookasipasoda

thumb_up thumb_down +30

You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

clamidia

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops