why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +142

What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A horse walks into a bar... Horses are not indigenous to China.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops