What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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who farted i did :]

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Libraries.

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A hayride would be fun.

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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What happened to the public server who went to the 5 dollar brothel? He contracted syphilis and died several months later.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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