Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME!!!

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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How many squirrels does it take to change a light bulb? 10 because they're so darn stupid!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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