A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

thumb_up thumb_down -93

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Asian NASCAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

BUT HWY?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops