What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Libraries.

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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