What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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Libraries.

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair, because a vest has no sleeves.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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Asian NASCAR.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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The NBA lockout

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What do you get when 100 sex-crazed gays are in the same room? About a quart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops