A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody. You'reschizophrenic and are hearing things. Go see a doctor. Now.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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What do you call a muslim with an RPG? Holy Shiite

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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