I like turtoes.

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because they're humans and many humans enjoy the savory taste of fried chicken.

why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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