What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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Hi Adam,

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I like turtoes.

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A blind man walks into the door of a bar

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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A Mexican, and Arab and an American are on a plane. The the plane is going down. It hits a mountain and crashes. But there was also a lot of other people on the plane. Families, children, loved ones. It was huge a disaster.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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