a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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i have cancer

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What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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Hi Adam,

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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Asian NASCAR.

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What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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