Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

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Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What's round and red? A round and red solid.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the slaughter house

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't; numbers cannot experience emotions.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops