Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS. AIDS is worse.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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A father and son are involved in a car crash. The father is killed, sadly, but the boy is rushed to the hospital. The doctor prepares for surgery, and since this boy has no family-connections to her, she performs successful surgery on him, and the boy goes home after 3-5 days.

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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A hayride would be fun.

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Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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