I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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11111

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

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What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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why couldn't hellen keller drive becasue she was a women

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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