Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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Whats green and tasty? Snot

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and an avacado? Michael Jackson molested a 12 year old boy

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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Did you hear about the one with the priest, the boy, and the dildo? Yes, sadly I have.

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I like my girls like my wisky. Strong, tastes and the leading cause of liver damage.

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if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

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Miami Heat.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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