I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Asian NASCAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +53

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One says "boy it sure is hot in here." The other says,"yeah like 350-375"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Rebecca Black's new album.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

66

thumb_up thumb_down +25

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A black kid, an Asian kid, and a Jewish kid walk into a barrier. They are students at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and they walk straight through the barrier onto Platform 9 3/4.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was Catholic and was having an identity crisis. Thinking that he was the road, he panicked and crossed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

thumb_up thumb_down +5

why do you often see black man dating fat chick?? because they have the brains to realise that fat chicks are just people and need love too

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Women deserve equal rights... April fools.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops