So there were two palm trees on an island. The first palm tree says to the second, "Hey! What's up?" The second one replies, "Nothing much, just chilling." Except they were actually ice cubes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a gay kid? KIRK, SAV, FRANK, or even KIRKLE THE TURTLE

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Pikachu say to the Charmander? Pika pika pikachu pika!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

LOL -LOL GUY

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What color is a banana? yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's the difference between your mom and a toaster? A toaster won't period in your cereal bowl.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

thumb_up thumb_down -94

What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

thumb_up thumb_down +143

One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops