Know what's worse than being publicly embarrassed in front of your crush? Jeffrey dahmer

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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What do you give an obese person with diabetes? Insulin.

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pussy enough said

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

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Q: What do African Americans and Doorknobs have in common? A: Before the Emancipation Proclamation was passed, neither was free. Doorknobs still aren't free.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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What is obama's favorite place to eat? Subway

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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A man gets into a joan Battle. He says Lamboguini Mercy your chick so thirsty then his pponent says Shut up Your chick is thirsty beacs yours face looks like a dried orange The man runs away Then the opponent realizes His Girlfrienn just aked Him for some water

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

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What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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Womens rights

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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