Nice legs....What time do they open?

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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I know a lady who is SOOO fat that when she steps into the ocean, she gets her toes wet!

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was dead and therefore unable to escape the Chick fil A bag it was being carried in.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Knock Knock. Ow! Why you hit me!?

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Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

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A couple arrived at Hospital in less than 3 hours. but actually they wanted to go to the Church...and 3 hours is quite a long time...

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A fairly-priced Apple computer.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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i came... i saw... -myself when i came.

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what is the best thing to do if you are stuck in a cave with ten lions that haven't eaten in ten years? well the lions aren't the thing to worry about because if they have not eaten in ten years then they would have starved to death

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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Roses are read bacon is good poems are hard .........BACON

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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